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I nod. That was one of the few parties I was invited to, because everyone in the year level was invited.
“I saw you there,” Lucas says. “And then I started chugging rum and cokes like they were water.”
I laugh. “Really? Why?”
He thinks while a spoon sticks out from his lips. Despite such a handsome face, Lucas’s lips look surprisingly pink and soft.
“Thought maybe it’d make me brave enough to talk to you,” he says.
I blink. “What?”
“Yeah.” He shrugs, then pops the spoon from his lips. It makes a lewd noise, and my brain immediately goes into the gutter.
I shake my head. Focus. “Wait. What do you mean?” Does he mean being brave enough to walk over and insult me? To shove me against a wall? To taunt me?
When he doesn’t answer, I tug the front of his shirt. “Lucas. What do you mean?”
He doesn’t answer.
“Lucas,” I whine, shaking him more vigorously, which just makes me dizzy. Lucas pushes me back onto the kitchen island while I’m shaking him, and something cold lands on the back of my fingers.
I look down at the chunk of ice-cream that’s fallen from my spoon. It’s starting to melt, creamy white rivulets running down past my knuckles.
Lucas picks my hand up. And then, without another word, he puts the three sticky fingers into his mouth and sucks, eyes on me.
I inhale sharply, my entire body feeling like it’s caving inwards. It’s as if I’ve been punched in the gut, but it doesn’t hurt at all. It’s…
And then the heat of Lucas’s mouth disappears from my fingers, and I blink, watching him lick his lips before digging his spoon into the tub and eating some more ice-cream like nothing happened.
Fuuuuuuckk.
It happened so quickly, I didn’t have an opportunity to savour the moment. All I know is that my nerves are on fire. And I can feel blood rushing downwards. And my body feels tight, like before I was a tangle of string and now both ends have been pulled, turning me into a taut knot.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Then
Even though Lucas and I weren’t friends anymore in high school, our mums were still close, ever since Lucas’s parents divorced in Year 5 and Lucas’s mum relied on my mum to help her through the difficult time. But even though Mum and Natalie were friends, I didn’t pay much mind to it. They’d go out for brunches or walks, and when Natalie did come over to my family’s house for coffee, she’d never bring Lucas.
But one time she did. I was fifteen, and when I saw Lucas sitting on the living room couch, I froze. I couldn’t remember the last time he’d been over. It must’ve been at least two years, when we were both thirteen. When we were still friends.
He was playing on his phone, looking bored, but when he noticed me in the doorway, his lips curled. He stood up and I was suddenly reminded of his height.
“Hi Charlie,” he said.
I didn’t move from the doorway. “What are you doing here?”
“Mum brought me. She’s out in the garden with your mum.” He nodded at the window, and through it, I could see our mothers walking and chatting amongst some flowerbeds.
I took a step back.
Lucas took a step forward. “Where are you going? Gonna run away?”
I scowled. “No,” I lied, because I had every intention of hiding in my room until he left. But before I could escape, Lucas had his hand on my shoulder. I don’t know how he moved so quickly.
He whirled me around. “What are you doing? I’m a guest here.”
“So what?” I snarled, trying to shake his hand off me. He just tightened his grip, fingers digging into the skin by my collarbone.
