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Ben obviously knew she was back, and he never let on. Git. I’ll have to have words with him about that. And he’s somehow managed to wangle a date with her. No wonder he never mentioned it. I shake my head trying to clear the ring of cognitive dissonance. Perhaps Victoria isn’t the only one who doesn’t remember. My fingers tap round the handlebars of the quad. He’s never been short of chutzpah. I’ll give him that.
I’ve never stopped loving her. I made a promise to her father, but now maybe it’s time to let her decide. If I’m not what is best for her, then I will gladly step aside. That’s all I’ve ever wanted was the best for her. She deserves the world. And if I’m not what she needs or wants then so be it, but I know she still feels something for me. And yet, right now she’s on a date with my so-called friend. Her ex-boyfriend. No wonder I was able to bale a whole field by myself. There’s nothing better than a good old farm labor to help a melted brain and a broken heart.
If the Beattie line at Hillcrest Farm is going to end with me, I’m going to do the best damn job I can with it until then.
I twist the throttle on the quad and head back into the fields.
CHAPTER 11
Victoria
I should have canceled the date. I knew in that moment, as I looked at Ben with Corran’s arms wrapped round me, that Ben wasn’t the one my heart had been searching for.
I knew that, for better or worse, whether I was going to risk making a fool of myself, or risk getting hurt, or risk just getting everything so badly wrong that it wouldn’t be fair to go ahead with the date. So, I tried to cancel. But Ben insisted. Said it was fine just as a catch-up dinner. That there was no pressure.
And that was fine until he tried to kiss me outside the restaurant.
The look on his face as I turned my head and his kiss landed on my cheek burns in my mind. And the sadness in his voice as he said, “You were never mine, not really.”
I could barely look at him as I walked away.
Because I knew he was right.
There was always someone else.
The taxi seems to take an eternity to ascend the twisting roads of Ben Cambren. My eyes slide over the golden fields, over the towering bales of hay standing in proud rows, ready to be carted to the barns to feed the animals through the long winter. My heart thumps in my throat. What am I doing? What am I going to say to him?
I rest my head back against the headrest.
A flash of blue atop one of the bales catches my eye.
“Wait, stop.”
“Here?” asks the taxi driver, bemused.
“Yeah, er, back just a little bit please? Back to the gate.”
My eyes do not deceive me. Sitting on top of one of the bales, casually eating a sandwich, is Corran.
My fingers tremble as I pull the handle to release the door. I exit the taxi, ungainly in my haste. As I try to co-ordinate my limbs, the taxi pulls away. I turn my head at the motion and lose my already precarious balance. I take a stumbling step to the side and find fresh air under my feet.
I shut my eyes, waiting for the splash as I hit the water at the bottom of the ditch, but it doesn’t come. The air huffs from my lungs as I hit the hard, parched dirt. I lie on my back, looking idly at the thick blue strip of summer sky above me, trying to suck some air back into my body. Hurried footsteps above thunder to the edge of the ditch then career to a halt, sending a shower of loose dirt cascading down onto my face.
“Urgh,” I sputter, clambering to my feet as I wipe the grains of dirt from my eyes.
Corran’s face appears above me. He looks…slightly mad, if I’m honest.
“Will you please stop plunging yourself into bodies of water,” he grumbles.
I wipe the last of the dirt from my face and scowl up at him.
“It is dry,” I bite back.
“That’s even worse. More risk of injury, although admittedly less risk of drowning.”
“I’m fine,” I note, dusting down my dress. “Bit enthusiastic with the depth of the ditches, are you not?” I grumble.
“Recently dredged, I’m afraid,” he responds. “But I will say they are looking in great shape for winter.”
