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I sit on the driftwood log, watching Corran stoke the fire, like we’ve done a hundred times before. But this time feels different. His hands when he wrapped the woollen rug round my shoulders pulled away a little bit too quickly. His smile as he popped the lid off a bottle of beer and passed it to me faded before it hit his eyes.
He sits next to me, staring into the flames, like he has the weight of the world on his shoulders. There’s a tiny gap between our bodies but it could as well be a million miles.
Did he feel it, on the quad? Did he feel the way that my body fit into his as he held me tight through the twists and turns of the dirt road? Did he know that I could feel the chuckle rumble in his chest every time I squealed as we went over a bump? Could he tell that the squeeze of his thighs against mine was doing all sorts to my insides?
Surely not. This…thing…whatever it is, whatever is causing it, is entirely in my head. Perhaps I’ve had too much sun today. I’d better not drink too much. I cringe at the thought of what a drunk Victoria might do. Punch Ben, kiss Corran? Punch Corran, kiss Ben? Who knows?
I don’t know what’s happening, but I do know one thing: I wanted Corran to kiss me.
I wanted him to kiss me so badly.
Every fiber of my being was crying out his name.
Maybe that’s what’s affecting my ability to hold a normal conversation with him right now.
I look at him. His blue eyes are clouded. His jovial air from earlier is gone. He takes a swig of his beer.
“Corran? What is it?”
He looks at me, his brow furrowed.
He takes a deep breath. “Ben invited Sasha Harkin.”
“Of course, he did,” I grumble. My fingers whiten around the bottle of beer in my hand. “It has been, what, three weeks since we broke up? Fucker.”
Corran’s eyes widen.
“You don’t usually…”
“Sorry, it is just…”
“Hey, you don’t need to apologize to me. I get it. I wasn’t happy. I didn’t know he was going to do that. I would never have agreed. And I probably should have told you sooner but I didn’t want you to…”
He pauses and looks out over the loch.
“You didn’t want me to bail?”
He nods. “Selfish of me, I know. But if it is going to be your last beach party here, I didn’t want you to miss it. Certainly not for him…”
He looks so sad. I pat his arm. “Don’t worry about it. I would have come anyway…”
“Who could resist a beach party?” he says with a lopsided attempt at a smile.
“Not Sasha Harkin, it would appear…”
“Vic!”
“Sorry, I couldn’t resist. Don’t look so sad. It is a party.”
He looks around the empty beach.
“Ok, Mr Melancholy, it will be when the rest get here. Did they say how long they’d be? Just so I know how long I’ve got to mentally prepare myself…”
“No, Adam’s message just said they were stopping in the village to buy some alcohol. I don’t imagine they’ll be long.” He casts me a side-eye. “I did think it would take slightly longer to get you on the quad…”
I growl and swat his arm. “We should start cooking…” I mutter.
“Yeah. Would you like a sausage?”
