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I couldn't sleep. I mean… I could, but I didn't want to. Knowing my luck, if he woke up and saw me there, he might get upset. I heard this kind of thing was called one-night stands. Going by the law, I was supposed to disappear by morning, but waiting for him to fall asleep was the problem.
When I heard the gentle snore, I got up and started to get dressed. I turned my attention to him, and he was still fast asleep. I wanted to touch his face and revel in how beautiful he was, but I decided to hold myself back or I'd risk waking him up.
"I don't know why I'm leaving to be honest," I whispered.
A part of me wanted to stay, but the fear of my bad luck wanted me to leave. He could just wake up and that sweet kind man I met last night could be gone. I wanted to keep my memories of him, as blissful as it was the night before.
But what if I'm wrong? What if he would be excited to see me?
Are you sure about that? Maybe he already expects you to leave by now.
But his heart was pounding, I listened to him.
The heart will always pound when the realization of sex is nearby. You're a nurse, shouldn't you know this?
But what about my heart? I felt a deeper connection…
Haven't you had that "deeper connection" before?
I had an argument with my mind and lost terribly. I needed to be out of here. I decided to leave him a note, but I didn't know what to say. I just wrote what best came to mind before leaving. I took one good look at his sleeping state. I sighed and left.
*****
I put on the lights at my studio apartment. After spending some time at the hotel, this home suddenly felt like a closet. I took of my clothes and slept naked. I felt lonely.
Maybe I should have waited till morning before I decided to disappear from a stranger's life. I turned my attention to a picture at the bedside table. It was a picture of me and Sophia, my late daughter. In a way, she looked like Ben, if we were judging by hair alone.
Speaking of which, I got up and searched my bag. I had bought some after pills on my way back to my department. It was my safe day, but I wasn't taking any chances. This wasn't a romance novel, where women didn't seem to get prepared after a convenient safe day. In reality, pregnancy could still happen on a safe day, so it wouldn't hurt to be extra careful. But being pregnant for Ben… that doesn't sound bad at all.
I returned to the bed. The AC had stopped working, and I had forgotten to fix it. The fan made an obnoxious sound whenever I tried to use it. I was hot, but my mind was elsewhere. My pussy was still hot, and my body still felt like I was still under his control.
I wasn't lying when I said I hadn't had anything like this in five years. My masturbation methods and sessions were all I had. And at that moment, I felt like touching myself. I thought about him, holding me possessively, his mouth that kissed me deeply, his hands squeezing and spreading my ass apart.
And his fingers… I touched my pussy… it didn't feel the same. Ben had taken that pleasure away from me. I forced myself to sleep. Easier said than done really.
*****
As a travel nurse, my job was simple one: go to whatever part of the world needed me. But I haven't done much traveling lately. I was in London because I found a hospital I enjoyed working at. Two days after the Ben issue, I resumed work, taking care of the kids in the children’s ward. I couldn't save my daughter, but I could try my best saving these children.
"Will I be okay, Olivia?' a little boy asked.
He had an accident while playing with his friends, resulting in a shoulder sprain. While the doctors handled the serious business, I took on the role of taking care of the boo boos.
"You will, little champ," I said and kissed him arm gently to not cause him any pain.
"Thank you," he said with a smile.
"Now just sit still, your mom's going to finish the paperwork and you'll be good to go," I said to him.
"Alright," he beamed and went to go sit.
"You're so good at this," a lady said.
I turned and found Dr Helen Williams standing behind me. She was in her early fifties and the owner of the hospital.
"Dr. Williams, what brings you to this corner of the building of healing?" I asked.
"Two things. First, I wanted to check in on you," she said. "How was the conference? Unlike you, you didn't brief me on what happened."
