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“So finish it. But keep your distance from my son. Push him away if you need to. Be cruel. Make it clear that he hasno place in your lifeor in the life of that child if you choose to… have it. If you can do that, then I won’t mention this indiscretion to your managing partners. But if not…”
He leaves the threat hanging between us.
“Yes. I can do that,” I say, swallowing hard and hoping he doesn’t notice.
Even as I agree, my stomach drops. The thought of pushing Nick away ishard. Yes, we’ve avoided each other trying to navigate this weird relationship we have. But to actually cut him off? To be cruel if I need to?
“And when this is over, you will have no contact with any of us ever again.”
The breath goes out of me, and at the same moment the car slows to a stop outside of my building. I thank him for the ride in an even tone, the world spinning as I step out onto the sidewalk. It’s past midnight and everything is silent. Collin’s car pulls away, leaving me standing there, head spinning, stomach clenched.
I clutch the bottle of pills and discharge papers in one hand.
I just need to make him believe that I’m not a threat.
I need to let Nick go.
I need to do it for both of us. For all of us.
Chapter 14
Nick
Thenextdaydawnsbeautiful and crisp, the kind of summer morning that you know will end in sweltering heat. I should be getting a swim in, or calling Vanessa to see if she wants me to drop the girls off at school for her. I should be getting ready to go to work.
Instead, I pace the office at home.
Sunlight spills into the room and birds are trilling and chirping outside. But my mind is caught in a loop that I can’t get out of. Blair and my baby and my damn father and what the hell is going to happen with this situation.
Hands clasped behind my back, I pace from one end to the other, trying to untangle the mess that kept me up all night.
Blair is pregnant.
How?
Images flash through my mind of all the ways I had her, both at The Grove and right here, on this desk.
Okay… so I definitely know how.
We used protection though. I’ve always been careful about that. But I also know that’s not always effective. So, I guess we’re the unlucky one percent.
“This is fucked,” I mutter, dropping into a chair and pushing my glasses up to rest on the top of my head. It’s like the universe is playing a cruel joke on me.
Years and years of accepting just being alone. Years of second-guessing my decision to cut off my ex, of longing for more companionship than just a quick roll in the sheets. Of course, the woman who was supposed to be a one-night stand is not only my lawyer, but is now pregnant. With my child.
A feeling of elation takes over my stomach and chest. I can’t help a grin, then cover it with a hand.
I shouldn’t be ecstatic about this. I shouldn’t want to tell the whole world I’m going to be a dad. This is not the way these things are supposed to happen.
My cell buzzes, and I look down to seeBlairon the screen. My heart jumps.
Be there in ten.
I’m nervous, up and pacing again. Last night was a whirlwind of emotions and sensations. Getting metaphorically knocked on my ass at the sight of Blair in that dress; riding the euphoric high of escorting her around the room; the pure panic that flooded my system when she passed out. The deep worry as I waited in the hospital, lying to everyone that I was her husband, willing to give anything for her to be okay.
Which she was. Okay.And pregnant.
A chuckle escapes me. But then I remember her insistence that she could handle all of this on her own, and my heart freezes in my chest. She didn’t really mean that, did she? I’m torn between the fear of losing her and having her all at once.
