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It had only been days for me, yet I could tell these people were huge hearted and trying to do their best.
It was more than I could say for almost everyone else that I had ever known.
“So we have a big situation. We can’t hear his heartbeat, and we know they messed with him. It’s possible he can control the lightning, of which he currently has an unending supply, and he might be able to call it down on our heads.” Crew ran a hand through his hair. “This is a total fucked up set of circumstances.” He looked at Wolf, clicking his fingers with the command. “Get your people together. Get everyone. We’re going on a mission, like the old days. We’ll find him. He’s a danger if he can’t be contained, so we deal with him.”
Anyone who showed up at the bar right then would have no clue they were drinking and reveling only moments before, because everyone surged into motion. In seconds, they were all out the door and attending to various tasks.
Crew was still speaking. “Ransom I need you for this. Gunnar will stay with Raven. Gunnar, I might need you, too, but if so, Mace or Ransom will come back to stay with her. Worst case scenario, Raven, I’m going to ask you to go hang out with the other regular humans. And then we’ll just station someone outside of there.”
Ransom shot Crew a look but continued with whatever task he’d been assigned. Gunnar placed his warm palm on the center of my back, drawing my attention back. “Don’t worry. No one is hurting you with me here.”
Crew nodded, his gaze stern. “You’re tasked with her safety. Nothing happens to her.”
Having delivered that statement, they all left, following the crowd of super and regular humans searching for their foe.
Why would something happen to me? I hadn’t been particularly threatened by the man, and he saw me alone and unarmed in any way. Was I in jeopardy? “Am I in some kind of danger I don’t understand?”
Gunnar didn’t meet my gaze, instead picking up the chairs by the tables and turning them over so they were upside and on top of the table, being held by their bases. “You’re always at risk. You could fall down those stairs or drown in the tub.” They sure seemed preoccupied with those two possibilities—falling and drowning. Had that happened to many people there? “Anything could happen. He hurt a little girl, and if Mace hadn’t shoved you, he would’ve electrocuted you, so, yeah, I think you’re in danger. There’s a possibility he has a problem with the regular humans, so we’ll watch all the regular people a bit closer. And I’m personally going to take care of you.” He met my gaze finally. “Because you’re ours. I saw you react when Ransom said that. I just want to reiterate that we all feel that way, so you’re clear.”
I walked toward him. We were close. Not so near that I could touch him, but if I took one more step, I could. “I know what it means when Clarke says people like me are his. What does it mean to you?”
He winced. “Not that.”
“So then explain, because I don’t understand it.” I swallowed. “Does it mean that I must open my legs for people when it suits you? Does it mean I must always obey you? What does it mean to you? You already know I’m a prostitute, so I feel that my question is quite clear.”
I couldn’t have explained why I demanded the answers from Gunnar in that moment, but I needed them, and I knew he’d answer me.
“Prostitutes get paid.” He shook his head. “I think what you’re describing sounds like you’re being held captive. All of you.”
I looked away from him. “So, if not a captive, what do those words mean to you? Define what you mean when you say I’m yours?”
He swallowed, his throat straining. His voice sounded a bit gruff when he spoke, but he said, “It means that we will always take care of you. We’d like you to stay here with us, because you want to, not because you’re forced. It means we get to be yours, too. It means that you would also take care of us. You’d stay with us, and maybe you’ll let us…feel like men. Maybe that doesn’t make sense to you, but most of the time, we just feel like some sort of machine. Not like men, because we only serve a purpose. I want to feel like a man with you. It’s what we all want. As for you, Raven, you could have whatever you want. You could be free to be whatever you want, just knowing it was under our constant care.”
I took that step toward him, stretching my hand to touch the place over his heart. “Would that include having sex with you?” I searched his eyes, sure I’d spot it if he tried to lie to me.
He put his hand over mine. It felt warm, and I trembled, but not from the cold. “Only if that’s what you want. I can’t feel those things yet, but I’m sure I would want to. I’m one hundred percent sure of it, but it’s your choice, I promise. For the first time, your choice. If you don’t want it, then we’ll just be a family.”
I took a moment because his words seemed to bang around in my head without making sense. I could hardly understand them. When I finally found words, I simply said, “I won’t get in the machine.”
8
READING THE SIGNS
Thunder rumbled through the air like a constant, distant growl, and lightning kept the sky strobing above us in ripples of blue and iridescent light. Despite the fact I was inside, dry, and safe—well, safe-ish—I shuddered with every new rumbling growl of crackling atmosphere.
“Did they get him?” I leaned against Gunnar as the two of us watched what essentially amounted to a light show outside.
“Not yet. Close twice, now. Don’t worry; they will.” He tugged on the end of my hair. “We’ve only ever lost once, and we don’t intend to repeat that performance.”
I looked at him, finding him more pleasant to gaze at than the scene outside. “You act like you lost that war all by yourself. Weren’t there hundreds and hundreds of you guys?”
He smirked at me. “Yes, for sure, there were. Still, it feels like I personally lost the war.”
“Well, if you hadn’t, then we wouldn’t be sitting here today.” I winced again with another particularly furious boom.
“I never touch people the way I want to touch you.” He shook his head. “It’s nice to have these kinds of moments, so in this hypothetical, where I haven’t lost, I’m not sitting here thinking about touching you right now. I’m a killer. You should stay away from me in this real life. And you should never be made to do what you were made to do in life.”
I swallowed, but I couldn’t disagree with him. “It’s never bothered me before. I just accepted my fate, but sitting here? It feels different. Like a dark, twisted pain I’m afraid I’ll have to live with now. Space, like what we were talking about before, gives us a little bit too much time to think.”
