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“No. I insist. We can start next week, okay? I was also thinking last night about that cabin where I gave birth. Is anyone living there? Like, maybe I could teach somewhere, if someone wanted me to, and we could live there. I just have to figure out what to do with Kitty when I work.” She blinked rapidly. “You live with the guys over the bar, right? If you don’t like it there, you could live with me, too. I don’t know what it’s like living over a bar, but we could make that cabin a home, right?”
Wow. Her anxiety had her scrabbling for answers, but I was safe, and I wanted to be sure she understood that. “I like it there. I want to stay, and I think they want me to stay with them.”
“Yes, of course.” She sighed. “I think I’m really tired.”
“One thing at a time. Thank you for the reading lessons, and I’ll try not to be the worst student ever.”
Her smile was huge. “Don’t be silly. You’d be no such thing.”
Ransom appeared in the doorway. “Hey, sorry to interrupt. Let’s go see the guys. They’re going through Evans’ cabin right now. Maybe we could go help them?”
There was a desperation in his tone that I’d never heard before. He really wanted to go help the guys at the cabin. I gently handed the baby to Raine. “I’ll come see you soon, okay? Not for lessons but just to see you two again. One thing at a time. Maybe it’ll all work out soon. Answers or a road you can take, I don’t know. I pretty much get thrown around from one thing to the next.”
She nodded and blew out a breath. “Same, and please, come see me. I swear, I can be better than this.”
I knelt in front of her. “I will, and there isn’t a thing about yourself you have to change. Let me know if you need something.”
She side-hugged me for a second and then I turned to leave. Ransom put out his hand, and when I took it, he squeezed my fingers hard. I stared at him. “You okay?”
His nod was all I got before he whirled me around and placed me on his back. “It’s a long walk. I want to carry you.”
I hadn’t seen the piggyback ride coming, and I sputtered a bit. “Well…I could probably walk.”
“Humor me?”
Darkness leaned against the wall outside of the room. He nodded to us and then stared at Raine’s door without saying anything. I couldn’t read him, but I picked up on undertones I couldn’t explain or even understand. What did I miss?
But rather than argue, I held onto Ransom’s back and let him carry me from that house at a speed I couldn’t even track with my eyes. I pressed my head against his shoulder, my eyes closed because the blur made me dizzy. “Did something go wrong?” I shouted into his shoulder.
Ransom skidded to a stop and gently set me down. His gaze had gone frantic. “Please don’t move to that cabin with her.”
“So, you were listening?” It wasn’t a surprise, but I at least asked it like it was a question.
“I really try not to, and I don’t listen to our neighbors. I don’t know what’s going on with their lives behind closed doors. I’m not interested in invading anyone’s privacy, but you’re ours. And I can’t quite keep my ears off what you’re doing yet. I never thought to have this…what we have, okay? I was made in a petri dish. I’m nothing but a killer, yet somehow, you seem to think that I’m worth it. Except maybe you’re going to leave. If you go to that cabin, I have to warn you, I’ll build a tent to be nearby. Unless that will drive you away further, in which case…”
“Stop.” I took his cheeks in my hands. I’m not sure why, but his panic calmed me—like it humanized him by showing he had vulnerabilities, which made me oddly more secure. “I told her no. If you were listening, you heard that. I said I like you guys, and I told her you seemed to like me.”
He visibly swallowed. “Like you? I…”
A bang caught our attention, then Crew appeared. He was actually out of breath. “Is she leaving? What happened?”
We were close enough to all of them for them to overhear the conversation, while they likely couldn’t have heard the conversation with Raine. “No, I’m not going anywhere. I promise you.”
He nodded, then clapped a hand down on Ransom’s shoulder. “Okay. Good job talking her out of it, Ransom.”
This was getting ridiculous. He didn’t talk me out of anything. “I was never considering it. Raine is going through a lot, so she asked me if I would—” I was cut off by the others arriving. They all panted like they’d run hard, even for them. How far did they go in a short period of time? “And I told her no right away. I don’t want to move to a cabin with her.”
“Good.” Crew pulled me into a hug. “We’d miss you so much.”
I would miss them, too. I let Crew hold me for a second, then he passed me to Mace who eventually passed me to Gunnar and then back to Ransom. I couldn’t find a reason to think it wasn’t okay. It was so much more than I ever expected to have. They ran headlong through the woods to get to me because of the possibility I might consider leaving. I told Raine I didn’t have people. I absolutely do.
* * *
The cabin was a mess—things strewn everywhere, weapons, more of the patches Evans used on Ransom, clothes, discarded plates with molding food remains. He lived like a person in distress. I was messy, but Evans’ cabin hit a different level.
“See what I mean?” Mace asked Ransom. “This is bad shit. Where did he get all of it? I haven’t seen this stuff since Evander fell. Some of it, not even then. What about you? When was the last time you saw a cellular disrupter? I don’t even have ear plugs to block one anymore. If I used it, I’d go down with it, and I hated doing it anyway. It didn’t feel like a fair fight.”
Gunnar sighed. “When did we have a fair fight? We were built to win, not play fair.”
