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I let out a sharp gasp as I think of Elvie in the last weeks before her death. She had grown so pale and so thin that it was difficult for me to even look at her.
The light seemed to have leeched out of her once golden-bronze skin. And her soft curves, the curves I loved so much, disappeared, melting into bone.
Even her hair, her wildly curly silver hair, started falling out.
In the end, I couldn’t look at her, but I spent all my time with her. I slept in the chair next to her. I fed her pain medication and soup, which was all she could keep down. I read to her, bathed her, and cleaned her after she soiled herself.
I had already lost two months with her, traveling the whole of Protheka, including going to Prazh, to find a cure for whatever it was that ailed her.
But no one had any answers. No one had any answers about the mysterious fever that overtook her. No one had any answers about her sudden bloodshot eyes, and the even more sudden weight loss.
No one had any answers about her impending death.
So I came home and spent those last weeks with her, ensuring that she was comfortable.
And when she passed after about six weeks of unbearable pain, I was actually happy for the first time in months.
At least she got to wear her ceremonial dress, even if it was to her own funeral.
I decide then to walk back up the hill and down the other side, so that I can get another drink.
“I think it’s time to go out into the city. Maybe visit the Red Kiss,” I tell myself as I kick my jacket aside. The servants can pick it up later.
The Red Kiss is a club in the Red District, one that I have been patronizing for years now, since Elvie’s death.
I don’t go there to do anything other than watch, because I cannot bring myself to interact with any of the dancers. I know that Elvie wouldn’t mind, but I do.
But while I may never use the services of the dancers there, the Red Kiss does have the best alcohol in all of Pyrthos. I know that if I want to get properly drunk, I’ll need to go there.
My mother is waiting for me when I come down the hill.
“You’ve been so moody all evening!” she practically shrieks at me, and I wince at the grating tone in her voice.
“Not tonight, Mother,” I growl at her and walk towards the drinks table. The zagfer has the glass of zhisk waiting for me as I arrive.
“I don’t want to listen to your shit tonight,” I tell her blearily as I turn to her.
Her face is dismayed, and the corners of her mouth are downturned.
I would feel almost sorry for her. I would almost regret my words. If I didn’t still think that she had a hand in Elvie’s death.
“Listen,” she says in a gentle voice that I don’t think I’ve heard since childhood. “Your two siblings have found mates. I think it is time you start to think about settling down. Don’t you?”
“I would think about that.” The sarcasm in my voice is biting. “If I didn’t think you’d try to kill them again. You know how picky you are, Mother dearest.”
Her face tightens, and her lips press into a flat line. Her small, elegant hands ball into fists.
It is amusing to see her get upset in public. My mother has a raging temper, but she’ll never let even one of her fine hairs out of place in public.
“All I am saying,” she says through gritted teeth. “Is that you should find someone you can spend the rest of your life with.”
“I had her. And I lost her.” My voice is dull, devoid of emotion. “And I never want to experience that again.”
“You need to move on,” she says, her voice still tight.
“I don’t think this is any of your business. I haven’t relied on you for a long time, Meriana.” She winces when I use her given name. She always fawns when we call her ‘Mother’ in public.
“And I don’t think you have any right to tell me what the fuck I should do. Now leave me alone.”
