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I smile at her. “I might have a kink for you with a knife in your hand you know?” I say quietly.
“You're crazy.” She says, her mouth pulling into one of those authentic smiles I love so much. Her eyes soften and she sits up leaning over me “You can’t die, Enzo. I need you. Forever.”
“I won’t,” I promise her. Bringing her forehead down to rest against mine.
49
Casimira
JFK, New York City
We checked out the next morning. I triple-checked the room to ensure there was no blood anywhere. Luckily the room was clean. I can’t say that a few towels were so lucky. We headed over to my mum's to say goodbye. Enzo called the rental company and bought the car, even though they wanted an obscene amount of money for it. He gave it to Michael. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Michael so happy. He smiled the whole two hours it took to scrub Enzo’s blood from the white leather. Enzo cleaned the knives and left with our resident weapon disposal man, Steve. Whilst I spent a little longer with my mum. We said goodbye and it was emotional because I can't see myself coming back any time soon, it just doesn't feel right here anymore. I just want to get home. I miss Julius and I know I’ll have to bribe him just to talk to me again but I do. I miss our bed. I miss Fran, I miss Benny. God, I even miss Luca and Raff.
Ares is totally fine the whole flight. He doesn’t sleep for the majority of the flight but he does watch some inflight movies with us. I don’t think we have let him walk once since we got him back. Neither of us wants to let him go. When we touch down at JFK, Luca picks us up from the airport. He’s leaning against his BMW X7 smoking a cigarette, his grey eyes lock onto us and it’s the first proper smile I see from him, not a smirk or a sarcastic grin but a big genuine smile. He throws his cigarette on the floor stomping it out and walks towards us arms wide. When Ares spots him he starts struggling against me. I reluctantly let him down and he runs into Luca's arms. “There he is. My favourite nephew.” Luca says as he picks him up and ruffles his hair. “You had us all worried for a second there.”
“I’ll be sure to remind any kids the rest of them have, that you said that.” I laugh.
“It would be true.” He shrugs. “Anyway, any more kids are coming from you two.”
“Woah, ones enough for now,” I say slightly rushed and I look up at Enzo who nods quickly in agreement. “You'll be married in 5 months. If your wife lets you anywhere near her, you can provide me with a nephew.” Enzo says. Luca laughs all fake and exaggerated as he strolls round the side of his car to put Ares in his seat.
Enzo throws his arm around my shoulders, pulling me into him and whispering in my ear, “Let's go home.”
As much as it was sad to say goodbye to my family, I couldn't be happier to be back in our home. There's a weightlessness I feel now. I can't quite explain it. It's like some vital part of my soul that I lost when Tom did what he did has reformed or maybe, I just took it back.
His body was found along with Marcus’ in the charred remains of the house. Police ruled it an accident after speaking to Tom's old friends and realising how bad his mental state had been recently. They think it was done in a drug-induced haze or he just lost it.
He did lose it. I saw it in his eyes that night. He wasn’t there anymore. Although the Tom I knew before he was my boyfriend, I'm not sure was ever him.
I think the real him was who I saw to the end of our relationship. Who I saw the night he got me pregnant. I don't see any of Tom in my son. He's all Alek. Crazy but happy. So fucking happy. He's blessed. He's surrounded by people who love him and would do absolutely anything for him. He will grow up with every opportunity laid at his feet. I never even thought about kids before, I never saw myself as a mother; it was never really in my plan. Not that I ever had much of a plan before. Call it divine intervention but when I first laid eyes on Ares, I knew he would be my saving grace. I was so lost, so broken. I needed a reason to carry on. Ares was that reason. He made me push through day after day because he needed me. I needed to be needed.
Now I'm not just pushing through to survive, I'm living. When I look at Enzo I can't help but feel so grateful. He has fought for me like nobody else ever could. He's given me what I never thought was possible, healing.
He brought me back from the edge. He showed me a light in the darkness and he showed me how to live again.
I’ve lost so much over the years but the one thing I’m glad I lost was that race. If I hadn’t, I’m not sure where I would be. After all that pain I endured, I’m finally free. He gave me the confidence to take my power back. He set me free.
He might be the darkest, most corrupt man I've ever known, yet in my darkest nights he reaches out a hand and I don't feel so lost. I don't mind living in the dark if he's next to me leading the way. I would follow that man to the fiery depths of hell and I'll fight for him every single day in any way I can.
I’ve come to realise, as kids we all love and cheer for the hero and as adults we understand the villain.
Enzo may be the villain to others but not in my story, never to me.
Epilogue
Enzo
Four Months Later
Manhattan, New York City
I push open the door to Casimira’s office in Diamonds. She stands behind the desk, little white dress on, her dark hair pulled away from her face with a pearl hair clip. It’s our engagement party this evening, just eight months until I make this woman my wife. It can't come quick enough.
“Yeah. Yeah.” She tells the person on the phone. She looks up and smiles brightly at me, the corners of her eyes scrunching up. “That's what I’m saying.” She continues.
She’s been helping out with this place after Franco retired. We haven't found a manager yet, she's helping with interviews but she's very picky. I don't think she's realised yet but she's into it. Being the boss. She cares about the girls and wants to make sure the environment is as healthy as possible for them. She’s the perfect man for the job. Knows the business like the back of her hand, has no ulterior motives and actually gives a fuck. I take a look at the walls. She's just had a few prints put up on the wall. A vintage cover of Playboy with Pamela Anderson. A signed Guardians of the Galaxy poster in a frame. A picture of me and Ares on her desk right next to the framed photo of Aleksy and the glass bowl of those Dip Dab candy things she likes.
“Yeah, I’m on board. Look, I'm out of the office till Monday so, any concerns route them through Rach and she’ll let me know.” She hangs up and slides her phone on the desk giving me her full attention. “Oh hey.” She grins. She has this new air of light around her recently. It rubs off on everyone. Can't help but feel calm in her presence.
