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She turns away heading for the stairs, I lean over the bannister and watch them leave. My mother throws me a tight smile before they walk out the door. Salvatore looks at me but doesn't smile, not that I expect anything different from him. He’s never even hugged his children. The only physical contact I’ve received from him is a beating or what he calls our training which in reality, is just prolonged torture to make us stronger. My mother doesn't know about that though, Salvatore keeps her extremely out of the loop when it comes to The Family dealings. Me and Luca are used to it, Raff just turned 12 and is slowly starting to be incorporated. He takes it to heart but he will for a while until he is accustomed to Salvatore's cruelty. I try my best to keep him away from our father. Myself and Luca can take it, we have done for years. Raff’s still young and I have a chance to prevent the same happening to him.
I head downstairs to find Luca and Raff. They're both in the backyard. Raff is playing basketball on the grass and Luca is sitting on a chair smoking a cigarette. Mom has tried to get him to stop but he won't. Salvatore doesn't care. As long as he shows up to work and doesn't embarrass him or cause him issues, we can do whatever we like. Drink, drugs, women. Any crime imaginable as long as we clean up after ourselves. The novelty wears off after a while.
Me and Luca have been in this for years already. We know how to handle a gun, can take down a man double our size and have been tortured more times than I would care to remember. Burns, cuts, waterboarding - that's my least favourite. Salvatore insisted that we are used to any kind of torture techniques, should we ever get captured in the future he wanted us to have a mental strength no others did. I think that’s bullshit. I think he's just a sadistic cunt.
We can handle pain a lot better than your average man but you never truly get used to it. It stays there, the pain and the scars and the darkness. Simmers under the surface like if you peeled back my skin you’d find the decayed rotting flesh beneath. I reckon every physical scar I have, I have two more mental ones. The mental ones are just harder to notice. We’d still be having those monthly sessions now had Luca not lost the plot a few months ago and put an end to it.
“That was shit,” Luca calls out to Raff as the ball bounces off the hoop.
“I'd like to see you do better,” Raff calls back, catching the ball mid-bounce. Luca flicks his cigarette and pushes his hair back from his eyes. Lifting his head to reveal the fresh scar cutting from the corner of his lips, across his cheek and up towards his cheekbone. Courtesy of dear old dad. A couple of months ago he was in the chair and he just snapped. I saw him switch. Salvatore was twirling a blade in his hand, said something too low for me to hear from my chair where I was having my wounds treated and Luca just broke. It was in his eyes, they turned into this dark swirling rage I’d never seen before. He was like a caged animal.
Luca managed to somehow get out of the restraints whilst our father's back was turned. He tried to rip Salvatore's throat out with his teeth. It took me a moment to move, one of my father's men stepped forward but I stopped him. I wanted to see Luca kill him. I wanted to watch the moment death took him. And then I realised I would have to tell our mother that her son murdered her husband and it kickstarted my legs. I managed to pull them apart only after Salvatore buried a knife in the side of Luca’s face.
Raff bounces the ball towards Luca and he catches it making a free throw, it misses and Raff starts to laugh. Luca grabs the ball and throws it at Raff's head, it hits him with a loud smack. Raff’s smile drops and he bares his teeth, shoving Luca in the chest.
I roll my eyes on instinct as I approach them. Luca smiles darkly and pushes him back. Raff stumbles back and falls to the floor, he hits his ass hard and Luca starts to laugh. It's never a fair fight between these two and Luca constantly tries it with Raff and he always wins. Regardless of the couple of inches and fair few pounds Raff has on him.
I push Luca back and he scowls at me. “Take it easy.” I snap, pointing back at the house. His eyes flicker with mild annoyance and he turns back towards the house calling, “He's not going to learn if you keep sticking up for him.”
I don't respond and give Raff a hand up. He’s red in the face with anger. It’s times like this when I wonder what will happen in the future and how on earth I’m meant to get them to work together. “Why is he such a dick all the time?” Raff says, brushing the dirt off his trousers.
“Because you let him.” The only reason Luca continues to piss Raff off is because of the reaction he gets, Raff is always on the defensive. I don’t know how many times I can tell him that.
His lip quivers and he folds it between his teeth to suppress it. “He's not like it with you.”
“No, because I don't let him. You need to stop being so sensitive.”
“I'm not sensitive.” He shouts.
I shake my head. “You're proving my point.”
He turns away from me and stomps inside, throwing the sliding door closed behind him with an almighty smash. I swear if he breaks it, I’ll fucking kill him. It’ll be me who gets the blame. He's like the BFG. Doesn't know his own strength. I follow him inside to hear his steps thunder up the stairs so I head towards the sounds of a crime documentary in the living room where Luca is laid, legs propped up on the couch to his side, knife in hand spinning it around his fingers like Salvatore does. I may look the most like our dad but Luca, he’s the most like him in every other way. Not that I’d ever tell him that.
I throw his legs off the couch and take the seat they were occupying. He glares at me and I cock my head in challenge.
“You’re too soft on him.” He says, finally turning back to the TV where photos of a bloody crime scene play whilst some nasally detective talks about how unexpected the murder was.
“Who else is going to look out for him? We’re family, we’re meant to look out for each other.”
He rolls his eyes. “Obviously with anybody else but not with each other.”
“So what you’re saying is only you can fuck with him?” I ask, my focus still on the TV. I don’t understand why he enjoys watching this, it’s incredibly boring.
He nods but turns to me with serious eyes. “Anyone else said a bad word about him and I'd gut them like a fish.”
I snicker, pushing my feet up to rest on the coffee table when I hear one singular unmistakable pop of gunfire from the front of the house. I jump up, my heart pounding as I reach for the draw in the coffee table grabbing the gun I know is there. I freeze for a second gun in hand whilst I listen.
“Was that what I think it was?” Luca asks quietly, already on his feet. I nod because there’s no way I mistook that. Luca dives out of the room without another word and I take my phone out of my pocket with my free hand to ring one of my father's men, who is usually stationed outside the house. He doesn't answer, so I dial my father's number just as Luca returns with a gun of his own.
My father doesn't answer either, cursing I put my phone back in my pocket. “Where's Raff?”
Luca’s eyes are wide as he looks from me to the blinds. “I put him in the room with Fran and Benny.” my heart is beating a million miles an hour, fear coursing through my veins. I've only ever shot a gun in practice. If my father hasn't picked up and neither have his men outside the house, it can only mean one thing. Someone has come to kill us and most likely my father is in the same position, or already dead.
I shove my fear down and focus, I'm the eldest and the responsibility falls to me. Luca looks at me in question but I hold a hand out telling him to stay put as I take a peek through the blinds that look out onto the front yard. I see two of my father's men on the ground along with another body I don't recognise. But in the evening light, I see a tall man walking towards the house, he has a balaclava on so I can't see his face. I weigh my options. I could try and get them out to the cars out on the street and the only way out is through the front gate. I could wait for my father or back up but who knows if it will even come and if it does, we could all be dead by then.
“Enzo.” Luca snaps, pulling me out of my brain. “How many are there?”
“Just the one I can see.” I have to fight to keep my voice even but I do purely because I won’t let Luca see me scared, not now, not ever. Like my Ma said, I need to be his leader.
