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At least they’re all for our marriage.
Troy studies Lucas and me for a beat. I have no idea what he sees in our expressions. I suspect there’s a heavy layer of guilt on mine. I don’t like lying to my friends, but that doesn’t mean I haven’t done it before.
“I guess there’s nothing left to say on the topic other than welcome to the family, sis.” Troy hugs me. Maybe not with the same level of enthusiasm as my girls, but the sincerity is there. “I hope you know what you’re doing,” he whispers in my ear.
That’s the thing. I don’t know what I’m doing. Lucas and I don’t know what we’re doing. Being in love isn’t new to me. Faking it is.
Garrett is next to hug me, squeezing me like he had when he showed up at the apartment. “I’ve always wanted a little sister to boss around.”
Lucas smacks him on the arm. “You don’t get to boss my future wife.”
Kellan is the last Carson brother to hug me. “Are you sure you want to be part of this family?” He nods at his three brothers.
I smile, mostly out of relief. Everyone is buying that Lucas and I are supposedly in love. “Of course.”
The truth is, growing up, I’d always felt like I was part of their family. Both Aiden and I had. After our parents died, their mom and dad treated us like we were their own. Joanna was the person I went to when I felt awkward talking to Grams about certain things. Like boys.
Lucas sits in an armchair. I make a move for the couch. He grabs me by the waist and pulls me onto his lap. And like everything else, the familiarity of the move washes over me in a warm embrace.
“When’s the big day?” Emily is practically glowing. If there were a prize for Most Excited at our news, Em would win it.
Lucas’s thumb caresses the skin on the back of my hand. “We haven’t discussed it yet. But we’ll let you know as soon as we figure it out. And we’d appreciate it if you don’t mention it to anyone yet. We want to wait until Rose is home and we’ve told her first before we announce it to everyone else.”
There’s a fluttering in my chest at how he’s thinking of Grams. The news of our engagement will be coming out of nowhere. She’ll be a little shocked when we tell her. But Lucas is right. She needs to hear it from us first.
His touch is a soothing balm. I lean into him, absorbing his heat and strength. His arm tightens around me, and I lock away the pain that has plagued me for so long.
Now that everyone has accepted our news, the topic switches to things that don’t involve our surprise engagement, what happened to my grandmother, or the drug charges.
Once everyone calls it a night, Lucas walks me to my car at the far end of the visitor parking lot. “How are you doing?”
He could be referring to so many things, but I go with the simplest answer. “I’m fine. Just getting used to the idea of being back here—especially now that it’s no longer just for an extended visit.”
The pine-scented breeze flutters a strand of hair in my face. Lucas tucks it in place, his calloused thumb brushing my skin. At his touch, I feel the thump of my heart, hear the thrum of my pulse.
He leans down, his velvety lips against mine an invitation to the fiery pits of hell. It’s all for show, I remind my body. Like the earlier kiss on the balcony.
After everything crumbled between us following the accident he doesn’t know about, I swore I’d never be able to be near Lucas again. But here we are, with me getting ready to spend the rest of my life with him.
With me too afraid to tell him the truth about the condom that failed, the accident that killed our unborn daughter, the hysterectomy.
Too afraid…too afraid to ask him what happened in Afghanistan. What happened that left Lucas and my brother so broken when they came home.
11
Simone
The next morning, after my daily run, I enter Zara’s café to pick up a treat for Grams and to have lunch before heading to the hospital. Kim and Emily are waiting for me at a table next to the window.
A group of women in their fifties sitting at a nearby table all turn to look at me. I don’t recognize any of them, but I get the feeling they know who I am. Because I’m Rose’s granddaughter? Or because I’m linked to Lucas?
Ignoring the women, I wave to Kim and Emily and walk to the counter to put in my order. The yeasty scent of fresh-baked bread mingles in the air with an assortment of spices, leaving me drooling and my stomach rumbling.
Zara flashes me a grin that somehow says she still can’t believe I’m engaged. “Did Em tell you why she wants to meet us for lunch?”
“Nope. Not even a tiny hint.”
“Do you think it has anything to do with yours and Lucas’s big news?” The volume of Zara’s voice drops. Any lower, it’ll be sweeping the floor.
