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Lucas shoves one hand through his hair, forcing the short strands into messy spikes.
“I don’t need a babysitter. And in case you haven’t noticed, I’m not the one who’s facing a felony conviction. As for my brother…” My voice spills out rougher than sandpaper, the words sharp against my raw throat. “Neither of us can determine what he’d want because he’s not here to tell us.”
“If he were here, we wouldn’t be married.” Lucas turns away from me. His hands fist on the island counter, and his head sags forward.
Part of me wants to say we don’t know that, but it would be a lie.
I squeeze his shoulder. I’m not the only one who’s hurting, hurting because Aiden gave up on life. His death scarred us both. It changed us from who we once were, but it doesn’t need to be the thing that adds another scab to our fragile relationship.
Lucas turns back to me. Desire and fear and resignation flare in his eyes. I feel naked, exposed, unable to register what any of them mean to him. To me. To us.
I cup his cheek with my hand. “I’m so scared,” I whisper. “I’m scared I’m going to lose you because of…”
I let what I don’t say hang with the weight of a million unspoken meanings.
His gaze absorbs everything my eyes are telling him. He nods. Then his mouth is on mine. Our tongues glide together, and I slip my hands around his neck. My thumb strokes the smooth skin at his nape. Lucas dips down, sliding his hands behind my thighs, and in an easy move, hoists me up onto the counter.
God…God, I want this man.
My legs circle his hips, bringing him closer. Letting him know just how much I want him.
26
Lucas
I have no idea how Simone and I went from standing in my kitchen, cooking and discussing Rose’s antics one moment, to Simone on the counter, her legs circling my hips, and I’m kissing her.
All I know is that I was angry she was willing to put her life at risk to help me; then I was lost in her beautiful hazel eyes. Lost and alive and calm. Calm like the lake on a windless day. But when she told me she was scared of losing me, everything I’d been feeling—fear, frustration, want—collided.
The perfect storm.
I lean into her, my length hardening in my shorts. My hands roam along her body, worshiping the feel of her under my palms.
Christ, I want her now, on this counter, stripped bare.
But as much as I crave her this way, it’s not going to happen.
A high-pitched squeak reminds me of one reason why not. Jasper. He drops a squeaky chew toy next to my foot, and I swear the little cockblocker grins up at us.
Simone laughs, the sound soft and husky as if she’s equally affected by what just happened between us. She unwraps her legs from around my hips and leans forward to see the puppy better. “You want me to play with you while Lucas makes dinner?” She looks up at me. “Unless you need help.”
“Go ahead. I’m almost finished here. It should be ready in about twenty minutes.”
They head outside, and I watch them through the living room window. Simone tosses Jasper’s squeaky toy a short distance. He goes tearing after it and brings it back to her.
I pick up the remote from the kitchen table and click on the local news. A video pops on the screen showing a building somewhere in the Middle East. One second the building is there.
The next it implodes into a pile of rubble.
Everything blurs in front of me. My mind takes over, sending me to a different time and place.
Aiden ruffles the seven-year-old boy’s hair and tells him he’s like a superhero. Brave and smart. Of course the boy doesn’t understand him. We’ve often seen him when we patrol the area. Despite the crappy situation he’s been dealt with, he always has a smile for us.
Aiden and I walk away, ever vigilant of the dangers around us. The hot sun bears down on us, the heat made worse by the heavy equipment we’re carrying and the uniform we wear.
The wind stirs up the dry dirt, creating a dust storm. It’s not as bad as on some days, but it’s still annoying. I squint and keep moving forward, the metallic taste of unease lingering on my lips.
A series of gunshots explodes behind us. Adrenaline surges through my body. Aiden and I dive for cover, our training taking over for us.
