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“She’s right,” Troy says. “Maybe you should talk to the cops again and make sure they understand the seriousness of the situation. If the cops don’t believe you, that’s on them. But this is Robert and Tuuli we’re talking about. I suggest having Blake with you. That way if they fuck up, you have a witness who heard what you told them. They’ll be accountable for their mistakes, not you.”
Lucas agrees to contact Blake in the morning.
By the time everyone leaves, I’m ready to sleep for a hundred years.
Except, I won’t have that luxury.
I shut the front door behind Kellan, lock it, and lace my fingers with Lucas’s. “All right, time for bed, Cannon. I’m sleeping with you, and I’ll wake you up every few hours.”
“That’s not a good idea, Trouble.” His frown says he’s going to stick to his guns on this. My expression replies, Fat chance.
“It’ll be okay. If you have a nightmare while I’m with you, we’ll also deal with that. I’m not leaving you alone until you’re fully recovered from the concussion.”
He doesn’t say anything, but it’s clear I haven’t erased his fears. The frown stays in place.
We get ready for bed and slide under the covers. Lucas pulls me against him. I’m on my back. He’s on his good side, arm draped over me.
His thumb strokes my bare arm, his touch raising tingly goose bumps over my skin. “Troy told me you had a panic attack in the ER.”
So much for hoping no one mentioned it.
“I was worried about you.”
“It’s more than that. You saw me at Barside. You weren’t a wife who just learned her husband was horrifically injured. Why the panic attack, Simone?” Lucas’s deep voice is a soothing caress.
Deciding it’s better to tell him the truth—a portion of it, anyway—I gather the strength I need to get past the next part. I know he’s still curious about the scar. Maybe this will help erase his lingering questions.
“I freaked out because of the accident I told you about. When I was twenty-three, a drunk driver lost control, and my car got tangled in the pileup he caused. Being in the ER tonight reminded me of how alone and helpless I felt.” Avery had been there for me, but it was Lucas who I’d wanted. Unfortunately, he had been thousands of miles away.
“What do you mean alone?”
My vision clouds with tears, but I’m too afraid to close my eyes to blink them away, too afraid to relive the memory of the accident. I shift the arm that Lucas isn’t stroking and rest my fingers where our baby used to be—thankful Lucas won’t understand the meaning behind the movement.
“No one knew about it. Other than Avery and my colleagues at the ad agency where I worked. Grams didn’t know. No one in Maple Ridge knew.”
He quietly curses under his breath. “Why not?”
“Because I wanted it that way.” Because I didn’t want anyone to know I’d been pregnant and then lost the baby. It would’ve been too difficult, and the news would’ve ended up hurting too many people.
Lucas shifts his body so he’s gazing down at me. And I pray the moonlight isn’t strong enough to illuminate my tears. Pray he doesn’t see the pain on my face.
His mouth presses softly against mine, and I breathe in his scent of mountains and sunshine and hope. I’d be more than happy to spend the rest of our days growing old together this way. This content.
We don’t talk. We just tenderly kiss. And my heart melts. Melts with the realization that I’m not falling in love with Lucas again.
I’ve never stopped loving him.
I just didn’t realize it until now.
34
Lucas
Monday morning, I head to the police station. The brick building isn’t the same one as from my youth. This one is bigger, newer, with large windows spanning the front.
Inside, the dark-blue plastic chairs are empty except for a bald man in gray overalls. Engrossed in a magazine, he doesn’t bother to pull his attention from it when I enter. The American flag stands in the corner, the only thing in the place that isn’t strictly blue or white. Even the rectangular floor tiles are a checkerboard of the two colors.
I used to like blue. But after my last experience here, I’ve developed an adverse reaction to it. My skin feels tight and itchy—a reaction even a shot of Benadryl won’t cure.
