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‘I get that.’
‘You say that like you think this isn’t your forever job.’
Chloe swallows thickly as he twists her hair around his fingers. She doubts he’s doing it intentionally, but he’s driving her crazy. He couldn’t keep his hands off her in the summer house, yet in the privacy of his own house there was barely any contact. Apart from a quick kiss on her neck earlier, this is the first time he’s touched her.
‘What we do, it’s not exactly what you’d call secure. It’ll come to an end at some stage. I could wake up one day and my voice is gone, or the songs I write are crap. We can only earn a living if people pay to see us perform or buy our songs.
‘And it’s not like we’re the only ones doing it. The competition is fierce. We have to keep pushing ourselves to make sure we stand out. Everything we do now has to add something to our retirement pot whenever that happens. It could be next year. It might be ten years from now. The rug could be pulled from under our feet at any stage.’
‘I never thought of it that way.’
‘Don’t get me wrong, we’re hoping we’ll be going for another few years yet. I’m only thirty-six. Wouldn’t mind getting to my forties at least before I have to have a rethink my career options.’
‘At least you’ve always got teaching to fall back on. I’m sure Gran would sign up for more piano lessons. Hey, maybe you could teach her the violin too.’
Tate laughs loudly at that. ‘Yeah, not so sure I could teach her full time. I’d have no fucking hair left.’
13
Tate takes the tubof Haagen Dazs out of the freezer and spoons it into two bowls. He still can’t quite believe Chloe didn’t run for the door after he offloaded on her upstairs. Whatever he’s said or done to keep her from leaving, he’ll take it. He can’t believe how easy it was to open up to her like that.
When he told Gregg or spoke to his therapist, it was like pulling nails. It was far from pleasant and he hated saying every single word. Hated hearing the pathetic recount of his fuck up, even if it had helped. First, it was a relief being able to talk about it with her. Second, she knows most of the details and she stayed. The details of exactly what his father did weren’t coming up for discussion, but at least the little he told her helped her understand his pull to drugs. That was the main reason he’d told her.
He really cares about her. The last thing he wanted to do is throw another spanner at what could be a life-changing relationship by ignoring what he did. She deserved to know. He’d already fucked things up once by not making sure she knew exactly who he was. Everything he’s done up to now has only helped to push her away. Time to own his mistakes and show her exactly how important she is to him.
He hands her one of the bowls and sits beside her again. He places his cold bowl on his crotch hoping it kills any ideas his body might have. He’s been on his best behaviour with her all night and it’s killing him. The last thing she needs is for him to throw himself at her like some fucking caveman. No matter how much he wants her, he’s not going to do anything, not after what happened in the summer house. It had been amazing but then he fucked up. This time he’s going to take it slow.
He’s wanted to kiss her since she walked into the studio. He’s never been this worked up about a woman before. He’s had girlfriends over the years but no one who held his attention for longer than a few weeks. It was partly down to the fame thing. There are so many interviews with him all over the place, some people assumed they knew him.
The last three women he attempted to date hadn’t asked him one question about himself. As far as they were concerned, they knew him already and didn’t need to ask him any questions. They didn’t want to be with him. They wanted to say they were with him. Big difference and something he nipped in the bud pretty damn fast.
Chloe is different on so many levels. Maybe having those first few meetings without knowing who he was had helped, but something tells him it would have been different with her either way. She’s different. He just has to stop letting his fuck up come between them.
Even without looking he knows he’s attacking his arm again. He closes his eyes and curses under his breath. But then Chloe takes his hand in hers and holds it as she continues to eat. He looks across at her and watches her thumb move in circles on his hand. Even that small act settles him. She doesn’t say anything to him. Doesn’t look at him. Doesn’t draw attention to what he was doing. And that floors him. Yeah, this girl is so very different. If he’s not careful, he could fall for her and that thought terrifies him.
He glances sideways at her and catches her licking the ice-cream from her spoon. There was nothing intentionally seductive about it but his dick thinks differently. He moves the bowl on his lap, hoping to hide what’s straining to get out of his jeans.
