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As soon as the words left my mouth, I knew I shouldn’t have said them. He didn’t have to tell me anything. Just because we were friends a long time ago, it didn’t mean he had any obligation to me, right?
“No, I—I don’t know—let’s finish up in here and then go outside and talk.”
“You’re making me a little bit nervous,” I said slowly.
“No need to be nervous. I just don’t really want to have this conversation in here.”
“Okay…”
“Seriously, it’s nothing to worry about. Let’s just get this mess cleaned up.”
I nodded my agreement and went back to work. I don’t think I have ever cleaned anything so fast in my life. My mind was racing with everything he could possibly be about to tell me, and I wanted to get out of here as soon as I could.
Half an hour later,we were finally out in the courtyard between our two cabins, bundled up beneath our warmest coats and blankets, and being warmed by the heaters that surrounded us. It was still early evening, and the sun was just beginning to dip below the horizon, but it felt like I had been awake for a week straight.
“Look, this isn’t really that big of a deal. I’m sorry for making it seem way bigger than it really is,” Owen said.
“Okay, so, what is it?”
“It’s just—you didn’t make me uncomfortable in there because, well, I had a huge crush on you growing up.”
“What? You did?”
“I swore I would never tell you if we ever reconnected, but I just don’t want you to feel bad about anything.”
“How come you never told me before?”
“Oh, come on, Skye.”
“I’m serious!”
“Well, for one thing, we were friends. I didn’t want to mess that up. I knew you didn’t like me like that, anyway. And by the time we got to high school, you were so popular and I was…not.”
“So? That never changed how I felt about you.”
“Then why weren’t we friends anymore?”
“I—I don’t know,” I said, and I really didn’t.
Somewhere along the line we had just drifted apart. We never got into a fight or had some dramatic falling out. We just weren’t on the same paths anymore.
“Well, anyway, you always had a boyfriend and I never wanted to intrude on that. And mostly, I was scared of getting shot down. I didn’t think I would be able to handle it.”
“Owen,” I muttered, reaching for his hand.
His fingers were warm as I grasped them. I held on tight and never wanted to let them go. I felt terrible for everything. If I had known all those years ago…well, honestly, it probably would have made me avoid him. He wasn’t the same person then as he was now. If this confession had come twenty years ago, it would have made me cringe with embarrassment.
Back then, he was quiet and sullen, at least around other people. When it was just the two of us, he could light up a room. But as I got more and more friends, he started to drift away, and I didn’t do anything to stop it.
Now he was so much more confident and self-assured. It was incredibly attractive, and I felt myself wanting to get closer to him. I inched towards him and rested my head on his shoulder. I felt him look down at me, and I wondered what was going through his mind.
Surely he hadn’t been thinking about me all these years. He was married to the love of his life, and then he lost her. I was just some kid he knew from the neighborhood. I never thought I was of any importance to him, but now, I was starting to think otherwise.
“Skye, I’m really sorry if that made you feel weird. That wasn’t my intention.”
“No, no. I am glad you told me.”
“You are?”
