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“Everything is fine,” I say as I take her in my arms, rubbing her back softly. “My father is here. He will take care of Benjamin and pick up the boys at school. The bags are ready, and we are just an easy drive away from the hospital.”
“I need a shower first,” she whispers, wrinkling her nose. I can’t help but kiss the tip. “Then I’ll be ready for the anesthesiologist to give me all the happy drugs.”
Safe and as painless as it can be. That was our premise since the first time we did this together. Melanie’s doctor is waiting for us at the hospital when we arrive at the ER. It’s a good thing because Melanie announces the ready to push as soon as she’s admitted. People say money can’t buy happiness, but it helps provide my wife with the best medical attention, and that gives peace to my soul.
Dr. Bell, Melanie’s Ob/Gyn, hurries to put on gloves as she says: “Breathe and don’t push yet.”
“Oh yeah,” Melanie replies, her face red with pain. “This baby is coming now, doctor. It doesn’t care if you’re ready or not.”
The doctor takes the stool placed between Melanie’s legs. “Everything is going well, Mrs. Posada. Let’s welcome this little one.”
Melanie has a hard time dealing with the pain without the happy drugs, as she calls them. And I’m here, supporting her and eating my frustration while my beloved wife endures the process bravely. I’d take her pain away in a blink, but I can’t do anything about it. Just hold her hand, feed her with ice chips, and tell her how amazing she is. Not enough.
Tears are slipping from Melanie’s eyes when the doctor announces: “Here it comes!” Soon a piercing wail fills the room. “It’s a girl!”
I knew it! I fucking knew it!
Melanie falls on the bed, sweaty and exhausted, as I kiss the top of her head. “A girl, baby. We have a daughter. Thank you, thank you!”
“Wait fifteen years, Posada, you won’t be thanking then,” she jokes, then winces as the doctor keeps working on her.
Then the nurse brings the baby and places it on Melanie’s chest. As soon as they are skin on skin, our baby calms down. “She looks like you,” I say, caressing my newborn girl’s bald head. Truth be told, this girl doesn’t resemble her brothers at all.
Ella touches our little pea’s wrinkled forehead with a finger. “Maybe,” she concedes. “Although I’m seeing your nose.”
Maybe, but first things first. “What are we going to name her?”
Ella looks at me, apprehension clouding her beautiful gaze. “I don’t know,” she whispers, looking at the baby again. “I was expecting a boy, and we can’t just call her Gael.”
I ponder for a second, then an idea comes to me. “Alba Lian,” I say softly. Yes, yes, I knew a girl was coming and did some research, just in case. Sue me!
For a beat, she says nothing.
“I like it a lot,” Ella smiles, then asks: “What does it mean?”
“Alba means sunrise in Spanish,” I start feeling my hands clammy. “That’s what you’re to me, Melanie. The light after a long dark night. Lian means lotus in Chinese, like your favorite flower.”
I’m rewarded with a thousand-megawatt smile. “Alba Lian Posada.” She rolls the name on her tongue, testing the sound of it. “It’s perfect.”
We kiss, and baby Alba wails again, calling for our attention. Melanie laughs, and I do the same. My chest feels like it’s about to burst. Perfection doesn’t exist, but our life together is very close to it. Nothing in the entire world could compare to this.
That night I went for a drink without knowing my life was about to change. I lost her while walking in the shadows, outcast by pain and my own mistakes. Alone and scared, I had nothing to offer her. Like the flowers she likes so much, I had to rebuild myself from the shambles and rise from the mud. The stains are still there, though, as demons swirling around me, reminding me you can’t take anything for granted. Life is a fight that never ends, but with Ella by my side I’m ready. Ready to live and thrive.
Ready to love.
The End
