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“And what about the other thing?” Char asked.
I love them.Those words echoed in my head again, precious and frustrating and proof of all the reasons we needed to be careful.
“What about it?” Vance asked. “She’s young. It isn’t shocking that she’d confuse reliance with love. Lock up men and women together and eventually they’ll think they’re in love. Just basic human instinct.”
I hated Vance’s words, but he wasn’t wrong. It wasn’t like we could indulge in anything. Our time was limited.
We knew it, had made our choice five years ago, knew that our lives were over one way or another when we finished this.
If we gave in to Kenz, if we let her think for even a moment that a future was possible, she’d be the one to ultimately pay the price. At the end of it all, she’d be the one to remain, to live on with that pain, and that wasn’t fair.
“So we all agree, right? No one touches her,” I checked, my gaze hard.
These men were almost brothers to me—with just as many complicated feelings between us—but I had no problem putting a bullet in any of them who dared to make a move on Kenz.
They each nodded in agreement, though the same shadow rested in each of their eyes. It was a desire for what she offered, for the fantasy that we could have some happily ever after with a girl like her.
But that wasn’t possible.
We were broken, just moving along a path to finish this, and at the end?
No matter what happened, we couldn’t hurt Kenz by leaving her to pick up the bloody pieces. It meant no matter how hard it was, how much I wanted to taste what she offered, I couldn’t.
I had to focus on the task and nothing more, and that might just be the hardest thing I’d ever do in my life.
Chapter Two
Kenz
The sleep had done more good than I’d expected. I had no idea how I’d fallen asleep so fast, but somehow, I’d slept deep.
Hayden had sat on the side of my bed, not leaving me alone in the quiet room. When I’d woken, he’d been gone already, but that didn’t change the warmth I’d felt from him staying.After everything had shifted the night before, that sense of security had helped.
The car moved smoothly through the crowded parking lot until Hayden pulled it into a space. His driving was, as always, flawless. It amazed me that he could drive so carefully—it was like he never missed anything.
How could someone be so aware of his surroundings? It was like he saw everything.
“You’ll make me nervous if you stare at me like that.” He turned toward me, catching me in the act. Tension lined his features that hadn’t been there before.
I pretended not to sense the change and smiled. “Sorry. I’m just impressed by how in control you always seem. It doesn’t matter where we go or what we do, you always seem to have a handle on it all.”
“I’ve done security for a long time—it’s second nature. In fact, the few times I go on vacation, I can’t relax and take it easy. I’m always looking at exits and escape routes and details like that. I went on a trip with a girlfriend years ago and she ended up leaving me halfway through because she said I could never turn that off.” He let out a self-deprecating laugh.
However, his casual mention of a girlfriend managed to bump my anxiety right on up. It was like the word had driven a splinter right into my nail bed, a sharp pain I couldn’t pull out or lessen.
It reminded me of what else I’d said, what they’d heard but hadn’t mentioned.
My little confession…
I guess it didn’t take a rejection, did it? I hadn’t told them because I knew they’d reject me, anyway.
I mean, what did I have to offer them?
Beyond what immediately could be useful to them, I had nothing. Just a name, a bloodline, and unless it helped them get their revenge, they didn’t need it.
Instead of letting on about how dark my thoughts had grown—because Hayden would notice—I moved back to the topic at hand. “I’m always running into things and missing stuff, so I guess it impresses me that you’re so focused all the time.”
Hayden nodded, then slid from the car and came around to my side. He opened my door, the action normal already. It wasn’t romantic, simply a matter of security, but my heart still sped when he did it. When he moved to walk on the side of the road, when he held doors open for me, my stupid heart took those as acts of affection instead of his professional obligations.
