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Twenty-two.
“Weren’t you a late bloomer?” Char jabbed.
It’s harder to impress girls when you can’t talk.Those words might have seemed like an attempt to garner pity, but a slight curl to Tor’s lips said he didn’t mean it that way.
“I, for one, think men more often than not talk themselvesoutof dates in my experience.”
“Don’t try to get out of answering.” Char pointed his finger at me. “Give it up, kitten.”
I blew out a breath, hating having to answer but unwilling to drink anymore. The nice buzz I had going on would tip toward drunk if I pressed it much further. “I can’t.”
“You know the rules,” Char said.
I shook my head. “I don’t mean I won’t answer, I’m saying Ican’t.I can’t tell you about my first date because I haven’t really had one.”
And just like that, I got the looks I’d wanted to avoid. Char’s gaze widened, as though he couldn’t believe it, while Tor only cocked up one eyebrow.
“Wait just a minute,” Char said. “I get that you’re innocent—somehow—and you haven’t kissed anyone, but you’re really going to tell me that you haven’t even been on adate?Not even an adorable kid playing doctor with the neighbor boy?”
“Don’t look at me like that. Youknowhow I grew up now, so you should be able to guess why that is. The Quad weren’t about to let me go around dating. Even if there were boys I was interested in, the moment they found out about my family, they ran the other way. Finding someone brave enough to keep trying after meeting my father or the Quad isn’t all that easy.”
I blew out an unhappy breath. “The closest I’ve had was the fake date with Vance, I guess. Yet another reason to be mad at him, huh?” To avoid those looks of pity that I justknewwere pointed at me, I lifted the plum brandy and took another swing, letting the slight burn sear away the question.
“You’ve been in Florida for a year, haven’t you? What about now? Can’t think you didn’t have chances.”
“I was lying about my name, my past, everything. How could I get close to anyone when they couldn’t even call me by my real name? When my firsts happen, I want them to happen because I know the person and they know me. I want that closeness, that romance. I don’t know if I can have it, but it’s what I want.” I laughed softly. “Also, I didn’t want to be responsible for the Quad or Jarrod threatening some poor college student who wasn’t ready for it.”
The reality was that those men would have ruined any man dumb enough to even give me a try. If I liked someone enough for me to be interested, I liked them too much to risk Jarrod or the Quad setting their sights on the.
Which drew my gaze over to Char and Tor.
They already know about the Quad, they’ve met Jarrod. They aren’t afraid…
“Hurry up—next question,” I said to hide the thought, to bury it deep down where neither observant man could read it.
“Last dirty dream,” Char said with a smirk.
Tor hadn’t asked as many questions, seeming to prefer answering to asking. The only part about that that disappointed me was that Char tended to ask questions he felt would bother me the most, like he enjoyed my embarrassment more than he did my answers.
“I’ll answer first,” Char offered. “It was, like, two weeks ago. I dreamed about some faceless girl I met in a bar, and we went into the bathroom, locked the door and I bent her over the sink.”
“Gross,” I muttered.
“What?”
“Do you know how dirty bar bathrooms are? That issoa man’s fantasy because it doesn’t even think about the girl who is apparently leaning all over a probably wet and filthy sink where people wash the taste of vomit from their mouths.”
“You don’t get it becauseyouhave no experience. In the moment? Things like that don’t matter.”
“Pretty sure vomit sinksalwaysmatter. So do all the weird STDs a person could get from that.”
“Yeah, yeah.” Char waved off my concerns. “Don’t try to get out of answering by bitching about my dream. Your turn.”
That wonderful brandy had made it easier to answer, made it feel less scary to admit such things to not just any two men, but ones who I wanted. “It was a week ago,” I admitted, closing my eyes as I recalled it. “There wasn’t much lead up, and it probably seems pretty boring to you. We were in a big bed with soft sheets and candles all around.”
“Were there rose petals?” Char asked with a mocking tone.
“No, there weren’t, thank you very much. I imagine those would stick to my skin and feel gross. The man kissed all over me, the touches soft, and he kept talking to me, reassuring me. He was careful, and he waited until I wanted him as much as he wanted me.” I shivered at the memory, at the sweetness of all those caresses, the way they’d warmed my body until I’d grabbed his shoulders to pull him closer, ready to bed for more. “I woke up just before anything good happened, though. Ialwayswake up before the good parts.”
