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Not that I liked rock tits, but for a second I wondered what it would be like to give in, to just let myself be distracted from the constant memory ofher.
As soon as her face came into my head though, I knew it would never work. Along with the blind panic that laced my insides when I thought of her reappearance, I also would hurt.
Having something fingertips away that you wanted more than anything, but couldn’t have, was absolute fucking torture.
“Another night,” I told her, flashing my most charming smile. It had the effect I wanted, like usual. She blinked, a glazed look in her gaze like I’d put her in a trance. “I’ll see you later,” I continued, extracting myself from her grip and walking away. Slowly. Just in case sudden movements made her run at me.
“Call me,” she whimpered behind me desperately, obviously not remembering I hadn’t asked for her number. I waved over my shoulder, not looking back, since that would make me want to go back to Kennedy.
Which couldnothappen.
I got into my truck where Jack was already sitting in the passenger seat, his expression like someone had kicked his dog. We didn’t say anything, not even when Carter slid in, having successfully extracted himself from his “prop” as well.
It wasn’t until we were on the highway to the highrise penthouse we shared, that Jack broke the silence.
“This isn’t good,” he huffed, dragging his hands down his face.
“Fucking understatement of the century there, Captain Obvious,” Carter growled from the backseat.
“What do we do? Should we get her fired? She can’t be here,” I spit, even though the thought of her not being there was making my heartbeat go haywire.
We’d kept our distance since she’d gone to the hospital five years ago. It personally had felt like my balls were getting ripped off right along with my soul…but it had been what was best. For her. For us.
I thought it would fade. That this pain in my chest would eventually disappear one day. I’d forced myself to stay away from her, to not look her up, to not drive by her crappy apartment…to pretend like she didn’t exist.
But the ache hadn’t gone away. I’d pushed it under the surface where it had festered, clawing back to life the second we’d realized she was at the arena.
“We can’t do that,” Jack murmured, the same resignation in his voice as was in my head. “We just have to stay away.”
“Meaning tonight can’t happen again,” Carter snapped, locking eyes with me in the rear view mirror.
My cheek ticked and I stared at the road, turning on the exit that led to our place. I couldn’t help tonight. Watching guys talk to her…flirt with her…harass her—we hadn’t allowed it when she was ours.
How was I supposed to allow it now?
I was a reasonable guy, about everything but Kennedy. She unlocked my crazy, and tonight had been tame for me. What I’d really wanted to do was stab the guy in the eyeball, slice open his throat, tear out his organs until they were scattered on the floor for daring to touch what was mine.
Like I said…tame.
“Old habits die hard,” I finally drawled, after I realized I’d been thinking about the guy’s death for a minute too long and forgotten to answer.
Jack side-eyed me like he could read my mind.
And maybe he could. We’d been friends for so long, sometimes it felt like they knew everything about me.
Of course I’d once felt that way about Greyson as well…and look what had happened to that.
I took deep breaths, trying to get myself under control before I got into a road rage accident.
“I don’t think I can stay away,” Jack said in a pained voice, even though he’d been doing the best of the three of us, it seemed.
“What the fuck?” Carter snapped, punching the seat next to him. “You will stay away. We gave up years to keep her safe. We’re not blowing it now.”
Except she’d found us anyway…hadn’t she?
Didn’t that…mean something?
We didn’t say anything else for the rest of the ride, Jack and Carter jumping out of the truck like it was on fire as soon as I pulled into the underground parking garage.
