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I stop drawing air into my lungs.
The tone in his voice iseverything.
It’s the kind of tone I’m sure every woman wants to hear from their man.
Callan wants to protect me and I love him for that.I just have to remind myself of one thing: he’s not my man.He wants to protect me because that’s what he’s done since we were kids.
I pretend I’m asleep.It’s safer this way.The alternative is to throw myself at him like my heart is demanding, and that could end very badly.Callan and I have decades of friendship ahead of us and I’m still not convinced he wants anything other than that.What I am certain of is that what we have now is the best thing in my life.I’d rather have this than not have him in my life at all.
13
CALLAN
I wake long before Olivia’s alarm on Saturday morning.Hell, I’m not convinced I even fell asleep during the night.I spent most of the night lost in my thoughts about her.About the fact she was lying next to me rather than being where I really wanted her, in my arms.My filthy imagination ran wild.I thought about doing things to her that a best friend should never do, let alone imagine.
I throw the bed covers off just after five a.m.and head into the bathroom to change into my running gear.Olivia doesn’t stir.Fifteen minutes later, I’m on the beach.Running is one of the best ways I’ve found to clear my thoughts and help me focus.This morning, I use my run to force Olivia from my mind and think about work instead.
My assistant, Abigail, emailed overnight to let me know a key investor has pulled out of my German expansion.She’s aware of the Plan B I’ve devised for this exact scenario and has already put its wheels in motion.That plan involves me wooing an American investor who has an extensive network in Germany and could play a pivotal role in our move into Germany.It looks like I may need to alter my calendar to fit in a trip to Florida to meet with this investor, which is a pain in my ass because my schedule is already so tight.However, the German market is lucrative, so I’ll do what it takes.I spend time while running mentally rearranging my schedule, figuring out how to fit it all in.
I return to the hotel suite at six thirty and find Olivia gone.She’s likely in the gym or out for a walk.It’s her preference to work out early in the morning.She hasn’t returned by the time I’m dressed for breakfast, so I leave her a note letting her know I’ll be back around two p.m.to get ready for the wedding ceremony.I want to give her space to finish her work today without the distraction I know I’d provide if I was in the suite with her, so I’ll spend the time after the breakfast working in the coffee bar downstairs.
Breakfast is a long affair with Joe and his friends.Halfway through, when I’m feeling irritated to be here, I admit to myself that I would normally be enjoying this time with the guys, and that the only reason I don’t want to be here is because I want to be with Olivia.It’s a mindfuck.One I’ve never experienced over a woman before.
The only times in my life that I’ve thought about being somewhere else like this has been when I’ve thought about the sex I knew I was going to have.With Olivia, it’s not sex driving my thoughts.I’m imagining watching her fuss over her hair and makeup.Talking with her.Asking her how she feels over this work situation she’s in.Making sure she’s okay.And while these are all things I’ve done with her in the past, I feel a deeper level of interest in all of it.I want to be the only man she allows into her space to see and know these things.
Fuck me.
These are not the kinds of thoughts I ever pictured myself having about a woman.
I manage to immerse myself in the last half of the breakfast.I learn that Joe and Charlene were friends for about a decade before anything happened between them.I also learn that the surprise she arranged for him yesterday centered around her sharing the news that they’re going to be parents.
I contemplate this for many hours after breakfast while I should be working.The only couple I know who took a friendship further ended up mortal enemies.Their breakup was long, messy, and devastating to both.That was after a relationship that only lasted six months, off the back of a friendship that spanned five years.I’ve always figured that if two people were meant to be together, they wouldn’t have wasted time being just friends first.Discovering more about Joe’s relationship today has made me question that.
Maybe, for the right people, a friendship builds a strong foundation first.One that helps them stand strong together when everything around them is in chaos.
Olivia and I have helped each other through some chaos.We’ve supported each other, held each other up, and quieted the noise of the world for the other when it’s become too loud.The question I keep circling back to is this: could we still do all of that if we added in the extra layers of a relationship?
Living with each other.
Being in each other’s space twenty-four-seven.
Tolerating habits, moods, quirks.
If the answer to all this is no, there’s no point putting our friendship at risk.
But fuck if I can’t stop thinking about being with her.
I return to our suite and am barely two steps inside when Olivia comes running out of the bedroom.She almost crashes into me on her way to the sofa where a pile of clothes and makeup have been dumped.
She comes to an abrupt stop, a stressed look in her eyes.“I lost track of time.I’m running so late now.Do you need a shower?Because if you do, we’ve got a problem.”
It’s unusual to see her in this frazzled state.Olivia’s the person I can always count on for calm order.
I frown.“What happened?”
She returns my frown.“Huh?”
“This.”I gesture at her wild energy.“What’s caused your stress?Fuck, was it Slade?What’s he done now?”That fucking guy is always doing something dumb that heaps more work onto her plate.If I could remove him from her life permanently, I would, and we’d all be a lot better off for it.
