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I don't even know how.
For the first time in my life, I don't have a clear answer. All I have is the fear of repeating the same mistakes.
I mindlessly grab my phone and start scrolling through emails.
My eyes fall on an unread email in my inbox; the sender - Maya. My heart thuds as I open it, her words, her resignation, stabbing me like a knife. She was leaving. My eyes read and re-read the message, my mind unable to comprehend.
How could she just abandon everything? How could she abandonme?
I push off the couch and drag myself into my office. I boot up my computer, my rage blazing, the loss and betrayal pushing me into action. With a few swift clicks, I'm on the company's internal job board, typing up a new job ad. My anger fuels my words, bitterness lacing every sentence.
"Seeking an Executive Assistant. Must be punctual, responsible, and able to handle intense work pressure. Must not be flighty or prone to making irrational decisions." The words flow, each one a jab aimed at Maya. Once satisfied, I hit 'Post', and the new job ad appears on the board instantly.
But as the initial rush of anger starts to fade, replaced by the same emptiness, I can't deny the bitter fucking truth. As much as I'd like to replace Maya, it's not just her job that's now vacant. It's her place in my heart.
The words on the screen blur as I think about a future without Maya by my side. I can hardly believe I'm about to let her go.
I start remembering the countless times Maya proved herself invaluable at work. Her ability to anticipate my needs, the way she managed any crisis that arose. How she would diffuse tension with her quick wit.
The thought of losing her professionally feels like a punch to the gut. Where would I find someone who could fill her shoes?
I press my fingers to my temples, trying to fight off the headache that's forming.
With a sigh, I pick up my pen, eyeing a blank check before me. I consider the possibility of paying her off, to keep her silent.
I could pay Maya off. I could set her up somewhere safe, somewhere private. A place where she could raise our child without the prying eyes of the world. Without the harsh judgment and the whispers.
Why does this feel so disgusting?
I’d never wanted it to come down to this. It’s not the way I want things to end between us. But the more I think about it, the more sense it makes. If the paparazzi finds out that Maya is carrying my child, they'll be on her like hounds. That sort of attention, I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy, let alone Maya.
It would be a living nightmare for her. Maybe paying her to keep quiet would save her from that. At least then, she could have some semblance of a normal life. I set the pen down, rubbing a hand over my face. The weight of the decision sits heavily with me.
Is this really the only solution?
Pay her off and wish her away?
I cringe at the thought. It sounds horrendous, even to me.
Yet the alternative is to risk exposing our secret to the world. The paparazzi, always on the hunt for scandalous stories, would be fucking ecstatic to spin a narrative of the billionaire boss and his young employee. It would be a gold mine for them, and a nightmare for us.
Suddenly, my office seems suffocating. I lean back in my chair and try to breathe. My reputation, my business, and my relationship with Maya... everything is hanging by a thread.
What do I value most?
My reputation or my relationships? I take a deep breath.
I think I'm in love with Maya.
Fuck. I think I'm in love with her.
A sigh escapes my lips. For the first time in my life, I find myself wishing I was just an ordinary man.
But this is my reality.
I close my laptop, cutting off the harsh glow of the screen. The room is dark now and I make my way to bed, hoping tomorrow will come with better answers.
* * *
