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However, he had broken Alana’s heart.
By not saving Jack. Now, because he’d failed, Alana was putting the blame for his death on her own shoulders where it damn sure didn’t belong.
No way did Egan want to jump into those conversational waters, though, so it was obviously time for yet another change of subject. Thankfully, just catching up with Remi would take care of that.
“So, how is it, Captain Remi Donnelly, Air Force Combat Rescue Officer?” He used his free hand to tap her maroon beret. “Is it everything you thought it’d be?”
She nodded. “And more.”
Hell. She’d no doubt meant thatand moreto sound light. Flip, even. But she didn’t quite pull it off. He’d been around enough CROs to know they often went through hell and back, and because they were often sent in to rescue civilians and even children behind enemy lines, they saw shit that was too bad even for nightmares.
“It’s what I’ve always wanted to do,” she added, and it sounded as if she were giving herself a reminder and an assurance for him. “Blue, Cal and you always wanted to fly jets. It’s that whole phallic deal of holding onto the throttle,” she tacked on a little sisterly jab, adding that lightness. “Me? I’ve always wanted to rescue people.”
Because of their mother.
Remi didn’t have to spell that out, but he’d watched her grow up. He’d seen that constant need for her to get things out of harm’s way. It’d started with the puppies and kittens on the ranch and progressed to horses and cattle. When she’d been ten or so, he’d found her about to be headbutted by a pissed off cow because Remi had been trying to untangle a briar from the cow’s calf. Remi had been aware of the danger, too, but it hadn’t stopped her from trying.
Later on, she’d ignored Effie’s and his dad’s murmurs about her aiming for such a high-risk career field. Probably even higher risk than anything Cal, Blue or he would encounter. The odds were low that they would face danger only a handful of times in their careers, but for Remi, repeated higher risk was part of her job description.
The silence settled between them until they’d finished brushing the mare, and Remi looked at him over the horse’s back.
“Do you think Alana actually wants to know any of the details about Jack’s cheating?” Remi asked.
He definitely hadn’t been expecting the question, which, of course, led to other questions as well. “You know details?”
She nodded, sighed and tossed the brush onto one of the drying racks. “I was at a base in England for some briefings, and afterward a few of us ended up catching the train to London. It was a total fluke, but I ran into Jack when he was with theother woman.”
Part of him wanted to shut this down. Another part of him needed answers. “Did you know her?”
“I did,” Remi said at the tail end of another sigh. “She was an intel officer stationed at the base where the briefings were being held. I’d met her before that, though, at another briefing in Germany.”
So Remi knew the woman’s name. Egan didn’t want to know that. But there was something else, something that might comfort Alana if it ever came up. Well, it would be a comfort if the cheating was a one-off.
“Did Jack and this woman seem tight?” he pressed.
And he hated like the devil that Remi didn’t immediately respond in the negative. Just the opposite. She paused and scrubbed her hand over her face.
“I talked to the woman after Jack excused himself to go take a call,” Remi finally continued. “Not exactly a friendly chat. More of a WTF are you doing, don’t you know he’s married? She did know and expressed the usual whining stuff about her being in a really bad place personally. I knew about the bad stuff, a death in the family, and judging from what she said, the bad caused things between Jack and her to just happen.” She rolled her eyes. “As if sex had been accidental.”
Egan figured that hadn’t been a pleasant chat for Remi or the woman. “Did you talk to Jack, too?”
She shook her head. “Didn’t get a chance since he had to leave right after he finished his call, but according to Miss Things Just Happened, she was in love with Jack. She hadn’t intended for that, either, but she just couldn’t stop her feelings.”
“And did he feel the same way about this woman he was seeing? Was Jack in love with her, too?” Egan asked, hoping Remi wouldn’t do another of those long hesitations.
She didn’t, but that was because she didn’t get the chance. A gasp stopped them in their tracks.
Egan’s gaze whipped to the sound, and he saw Alana standing in the doorway of the barn. He couldn’t be sure exactly what she’d heard, but obviously, it’d been enough to cause the color to drain from her face.
“Alana,” he said, moving toward her.
But she threw up her hand in a stop gesture. Her fingers were trembling. So was her mouth. And that let him know she’d heard plenty.
“Sorry,” she muttered, and she repeated it as she turned away and bolted toward her car.
“Shit,” Remi cursed, adding a groan. She moved as if she were about to go after Alana, but Egan did his own version of a stop.
“I’ll go,” he insisted.
