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Prologue
KAI
Months later . . .
“You lost me the moment you stepped through the wall, Cora,” I whisper, the words falling from my lips before I can stop them. I feel her horror slam into me as she shakes her head in denial. My sister is the strong one. She always was and always will be.
She was cast to the Dead Lands and survived, and she fought to find me again. I’ll never be as strong as her. Can she not see that?
Can she not see that I’m ruined beyond repair?
“No, don’t say that, Kai—”
“Cora,” I interrupt, my hands coming up to cup her face. Her eyes drop to my forearms where bruises stand out against my pale skin. I can’t hide them. They were meant to be seen, just like the scars he placed upon my body and soul.
The king may be gone, but he still haunts me.
“Kai, it’s going to be okay. Everything will change now,” Cora continues, but her words only make me sink further into my misery. Things may change in the world around me, but I’malready far too broken for change to happen to me. Cora has always been a fighter, and she’s always protected me, but she wasn’t able to protect me this time.
Now, I’m ruined. Now, I’m nothing but the echo of the woman I once was. All the hopes, dreams, and future . . . they’re all gone. All that is left is a pain I cannot live in, not even for her.
“Do you know what he did to me?” I rasp. Tears spill over my lashes and drip down my cheeks as the memories swarm me, reminding me that I’m broken, that I’ll never be whole again. I will never be anything but his. He stole every inch of me. “Do you know what he made me do?”
Cora’s face crumples at my words. “I’m so sorry, Kai,” she says. I can see her agony written on her face. She tried to come as fast as she could. It is not her fault. Some fates are written in blood and we can’t escape them. “I didn’t know—”
“No. How could you have?” I ask, staring at her with tears rolling uninhibited down my face. “You were supposed to die.” My voice is more of a croak now, all the pain spilling from me as I take a shuddering breath. The moment I lost my sister, I lost my fight. “I mourned you the moment you walked through the wall. No hunt survives.”
“But I did,” she says, her words so much like a plea that they hurt.
None of my pain is directed at her. It’s not Cora’s fault, but now she’s here, asking me to believe in her, to heal, and I don’t feel as if I can ever be whole again. There are pieces of me that are missing, that the king stole from me. Cora may as well be just another phantom, another reminder of what I’m not, of what I lost. She died, but then she didn’t. She’s here, but even I can see she’s no longer the same.
She’s stronger now.
Nothing is the same, and nothing will ever be again. I am not the Kai she remembers.
I’m a shell barely held up by my sister’s sheer will.
“Kai,” Cora implores again, “we can get through this. I can help you.”
She is still trying to take care of me.
Cora is the best little sister.
Now, she stands before me, glowing with radiance despite her pain at realizing how broken I am. Monsters stand with her, and although they are terrifying, they are clearly in love with my sister. Even in the Dead Lands, she’s managed to enchant them, her stubborn strength calling to them in a way my old beauty never could. I’m not the vibrant older sister anymore.
I died the day she walked through the wall.
She tried to protect me, taking my place when I would have died on the other side, and now . . . I died anyway, just not in the way I assumed.
“The wall is going to fall, Kai. Things will change. I can help you heal.”
Cora isn’t listening to me. She’s so desperate to save me, she doesn’t understand there’s nothing to save.
My eyes go unfocused as the memories crash over me again. I sort through them, wondering which ones I should tell her so she’ll realize it’s no use.
I’ve experienced so much pain, so much ruination, how could she ever understand?
“He would force us to watch his slaughter,” I croak, and she falls silent. “I saw one of the concubines, an older one, get brutalized for daring to flinch when he raised his hand.” My eyes meet hers, and I make sure she can see the darkness floating in my gaze. “I was her replacement, so I had to take the jewels from her body while she breathed her last breath on the floor. I had to collar myself.”
