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“Release her,” Dade commands, his lips parting over his teeth.
“Now,” Weyland adds.
Rook only stares at them, unfazed. “If she allows the shadows to consume her, she will never be whole. It will kill her if she allows those shadows to fester.”
They freeze, their eyes trailing over to me where I struggle.
“Let me go!” I snarl, lashing out at Rook, hitting his arm as if I have the strength to dislodge him. “Let me go!”
“Shh, little oblivion,” Rook coos, and his voice echoes like before, offering comfort. “Fight the fear but don’t fight so hard you grow tired. The key to defeating your darkness and controlling it is to first admit it is there.”
I don’t want to look too deeply into my soul. I don’t want to see the oil that coats my memories and changes me into something else. I’m no longer Kai of the Shadow Lands. She died when I dove off that castle. In her place is something else, some other beast I’m not prepared to face yet.
“No,” I whisper, tugging at my arm until it aches. “No.”
“Yes,” Rook counters. “Find it, see it, accept it.”
The shadows around my feet begin to climb my legs, comforting me in a way that I’ve never experienced. The king’s voice echoes in those shadows, demanding I obey and cower.
“No,” I rasp, gasping for air, desperate to get away. “Please, no.”
“That’s enough!” Kaito snarls. “Leave her be!”
Rook doesn’t even look at him. “You know nothing of darkness, half breed. I suggest you sit this one out.” Weyland takes a step forward, but Rook shakes his head. “Your darkness is not as deep. Only the warhorse knows some of what she suffers, but none of you understand debilitating shadows like I do. I will not harm her. You have my word.”
I’ve been looking forward to this, little pet.
Tears begin to fall down my face, spilling over my cheeks as I get a good look at my memories. I see Cora sacrificing herself for me and thinking I would only lose a sister, only to discover I was losing everything. A memory of Merryl as he watched the guards drag me away, doing nothing to save me, giving no protest follows after. He didn’t even beg for me to be spared, so afraid of the king. The king tortured and touched me, then Cora reappeared in all her beauty, coming to vanquish my nightmares, but it was too late. They had already climbed inside my soul.
I collapse under the weight of my darkness, my sobs racking my body until I am torn into a million pieces. Strong arms wrap around me, the shadows holding me together despite the shards.
“I’m broken,” I cry, my voice cracking and watery. “I’m so broken.”
“Yes,” Rook agrees, his large hand stroking my hair. “We all are, little oblivion.” His chest vibrates with his hum in a way that soothes me. “But I’ll tell you a secret.”
I tilt my head up, meeting his yellow eyes, and I wait for his words of wisdom as the others come closer, offering their own comfort. “What?” I croak, holding my breath.
He smiles, and this time, it’s not unsettling. “Those cracks are how the light gets in, little oblivion,” he murmurs. “They are how the light gets in.”
Chapter
Twenty-Five
KAI
Idon’t know how long I huddle in Rook’s arms, absorbing his shadows as if they are the warmth of a large fire. I only know that it’s long past daytime when I stir and look up into the trees. There is no longer any sunshine, and whatever moon there might be this night is hidden behind clouds. I know nothing of the time, only that I’ve kept us all out in the forest so late. Shame fills me that I put us in danger for my own foolish hauntings and that I can’t control them like Rook wants me to.
“I’m sorry I kept us out so late,” I rasp, glancing over my shoulder toward Weyland, Kaito, and Dade.
We are so far from the cabin because I had been running.
I realize now that I had been trying to escape myself. I’ve been constantly running from myself.
Now that I see what I’ve been doing, I understand it, but I don’t like it. Rook reminded me that I’m broken, but his sentiment about the light getting in surprisingly makes me feel better. If a creature such as him, so consumed by darkness and shadows that he is shadows personified, can find the light, then shouldn’t I be able to?
“Don’t apologize,” Kaito replies with a shake of his head. “We were meant to be here when we were.” His eyes dart up to Rook, who he holds me in his arms, and then away, as if he can’t quite stomach looking at him for too long.
Weyland is watching Rook like a predator who meets one far bigger than he is. He’s so incredibly tense that I feel as if his bones would creak with every movement.
