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Lifting my arm, I hold it between us to show him the dim glow under my skin. “I guess the pool works,” I comment idly, blushing. His slow smile only makes my blush deepen, until we’re both staring at each other with some deep emotion passing between us.
I’ve crossed a line between us now and the truth is, I don’t want to stop.
Chapter
Thirty-Six
KAI
The trek back to the cabin is spent with lingering gazes and wandering hands. Kaito’s tenderness surrounds me, and all I can think about is the way his lips felt on me, how he held me, and the way his eyes remained focused on me so I knew whom I was with the entire time. The darkness lost in the end.
I’m healing.
The king is no longer the only memory in my mind. It’s fading now, and those horrible memories are being replaced with all the good ones I’m making instead. The darkness still tries to creep in sometimes, but I have better weapons to help me fight them now.
With my monsters at my side, perhaps the darkness can be banished completely.
When the cabin comes into view, I don’t think anything of it. I’m simply happy to giggle with Kaito as he teases me and dances around me like a child. His happiness is as infectious as his smile, so I find myself laughing with him, genuinely enjoying myself as we walk up to the door, and then we step inside.
The first thing I notice is that Dade, Weyland, and Rook are all inside. Rook is standing by the fire, stirring somethingin the large pot. I hadn’t realized he could cook so it surprises me a little, but the moment we step inside, he stops what he’s doing and turns, meeting my eyes. He opens his mouth to say something, perhaps a greeting of some sort, but his mouth snaps shut before the words come out, his eyes blazing in the firelight.
Dade straightens and rolls his shoulders but otherwise, he is the picture of calm. His features are schooled so he’s hiding whatever emotion he’s feeling, just as Rook’s are.
Weyland doesn’t display any of the same decorum though. He takes a huge sniff of the air as we walk in and his expression morphs into jealousy so thick, it permeates the room. Dade shoots a glare at Weyland, but the wolf vibrates with jealousy. Despite that, he doesn’t lash out. He doesn’t do anything to make me uncomfortable. Instead, he grits his teeth and says, “I hope you had a good date.”
I glance at Kaito before my eyes trail over to Dade and Rook. I don’t know when it happened, but it’s become easy to read the thoughts in all their eyes and have a silent conversation between us. It’s as if, at some point, we’ve become far closer than I ever imagined, and I never even noticed until now. Patting Kaito’s shoulder, I step a little closer to Weyland and hold out my hand for him. He stares at my fingers for a second, confused.
“Come outside with me,” I request softly, my hand lingering between us.
He immediately stands and takes my hand, his large, warm fingers engulfing my own.
“Don’t go too far,” Dade warns. “There’s been a lot of movement in the Dead Lands lately.”
I nod at his warning and continue to pull Weyland outside. “We won’t go much farther than the cabin. Promise.”
Once outside and a few steps away, I turn to Weyland who stands stiffly. He’s tense, his whole body a study in forcedcompliance as he tries his best not to react to whatever scent I bear.
“Are you okay?” I whisper, looking up at him through my lashes. I can feel his jealousy, but it doesn’t feel aggressive. There’s nothing directed at me, which is a relief. I would hate to hurt any of them, but I won’t apologize for following my heart, not even to them. “I didn’t mean to upset—”
“No,” he growls, his voice coming out harsh. When he realizes how it sounds, he repeats the word softer and sighs. “No, it’s nothing you did. I’m just . . .” He runs a hand through his hair. “I’ve imagined bringing you pleasure for so long that smelling your release on Kaito has me wanting,bacca. I’m not angry. I’m just jealous that the fish man got to taste you is all.”
Reaching up to cup his jaw, I draw his gaze to mine, forcing him to look at me. “I didn’t purposely choose which of you was the first to push my darkness aside enough for such intimacies, but I am healing, Weyland.” I sigh. “I’m sorry if this is difficult. I never expected such . . .” I shake my head, unsure what to say. “I’m healing, and I want you.”
His eyes widen at my words, as if he’s surprised to hear them. Silly wolf. Hasn’t he realized how I feel? Perhaps I haven’t been as vocal as I should be.
I trail my hands from his jaw to his neck, stroking his skin before dipping my fingers beneath his shirt. The harsh breath that rattles from his lungs tells me he likes the touch and that he’s eager for more.
The power I seem to hold over these monsters is addicting.
“I haven’t felt desire in so long, it’s almost new to be able to feel it engulf me,” I murmur. “But I desire each of you. Every time I look at you, I want you. Each time I look at Kaito, Dade, and Rook, I want them. I’m not sure how much I can push, but don’t think I don’t want you equally as much as each of them, Weyland.” My fingers stroke along his collarbones, pressing thecollar of his shirt open. “Don’t think I haven’t imagined touching you the same way.”
His eyes close as my fingers caress him. “Bacca. . .”
“Shhh,” I murmur. “Just let me touch you.”
For so long, I haven’t been able to explore. I haven’t been able to touch at my own will and determine where I want my hands to go. It’s been so long since I’ve had this freedom and I want more of it. When I am in control, the darkness stays blissfully away, and my fingers can trail slowly along Weyland’s body without fear.
I know this must be some kind of torture for the wolf. His hands are clenched tightly at his sides and his eyes are shut tight as he settles into my touch. His shoulders are tense as he holds himself back and keeps himself in check.
