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“Because you will?”
He groans. “My restraint is holding on by a thread, don’t test it.”
A small part of me is tempted to. Especially because of what he’s implying will happen if I push him further. But I shouldn’t do that to him. It isn’t fair when he’s said he doesn’t want to, and while I’m disappointed by that, I have to respect his choice. If what he’s saying about us being meant for each other is true, then there’ll be plenty of time to explore what I want.
“Tell me about your dream,” he says.
I sigh and lean my head against his shoulder.
Thistle hops down from where she’s watching from one of the benches and comes to sit by me, clearly called by my magic. Cethin must be right about her being my familiar, she’s responding far too often when I’ve had my dreams for there to be another explanation.
“The woman from the river talked to me,” I say. “It’s the first time that’s happened.”
“What did she say?”
“A load of cryptic stuff about me having to accept what I can do before I can stop the dreams. Which I get, but at the same time, I have no idea what I can do. If Icouldaccept it, then I would.”
“Hmm.”
“What?”
“It’s just that there must be more clues than that. You said she looked like you?”
“Yes. Long silver-white hair, sometimes she looks really old, other times she looks my age. She washes things in the river in some of the dreams. Oh, and the wailing was different this time. It sounded like it was coming from more than one place. I don’t know, it all seems as if it’s raised more questions than it’s answered.”
He frowns. “Maybe. But it’s also given us a lot of information to work with.” He leans in and kisses the top of my head. “We’ll work it out.”
I sigh and lean into him. “I hope so.” Because I really can’t keep waking up in the middle of the night screaming, even if I no longer have to shoulder the knowledge of that alone.
CHAPTER14
Cethin
I don’t even needAnja to say anything, I know she’s in the room the moment she walks into the library. I don’t know if I’m picking up on her scent, the sound of her footsteps, or if there’s something else that tells the bond between us that she’s around, but I know it.
I look up and wave her over to the table I’m at. She pulls out the chair next to me and leans in to kiss my cheek before sitting down.
“Hi.”
“Hey,” she says. “Should I be disappointed that you didn’t invite me here to make out in the library?” She waves at the huge stack of books on the table in front of us.
I chuckle. “I don’t think Mr. Brecken would like that very much.”
“I wasn’t planning on telling the librarian what we were up to,” she jokes, her eyes shining with amusement. “But I will concede that there are better dark corners for that.” She places her hand on my leg under the table, a little higher than she should considering where we are.
“I wouldn’t mind you showing some of them to me,” I joke.
She raises an eyebrow and she moves her hand even higher still. My body responds instantly. Mostly because every part of me has been on alert since the moment she walked in.
“Even if you don’t want to...”
A low growl escapes from me. “I never said I didn’t want to. You’re my mate, Anja. Trust me, I really want to.”
She meets my gaze and I’m surprised to find a similar amount of desire swirling in her eyes. She bites her bottom lip and it’s all I can donotto take hold of her hand and drag her to the back of the library where there is slightly more privacy.
Though the risk of getting caught is still a little too high for my liking. That’s not how sealing our mating bond should go.
I clear my throat. “I actually thought you should see this,” I say, forcing my attention back to the stack of books. I search through it for the one I’m looking for. “Aha.” I find the one with the dark red cover and hand it to her.
