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“This wasn’t temporary or some stupid summer fling!” I point toward her car, my eyes wild. “She wanted this too. She wanted this. I might have pushed her, but she came willingly every time, pushing me right back. I listened to her. To all of it. I know it’s what she wanted.”
I drop my eyes to my hand as blood slithers down my fingers. I shake it out, sighing as I lean across the bonnet of her car and drop my head to the metal.
“I thought I was giving her what she needed, but I fucked it all up instead.”
“You haven’t done anything wrong, Sullivan.” His hand clasps me on the back of the neck and grips me firmly.
“She wasn’t here when she should have been. She’s going to live with that for the rest of her life.” I twist my neck to look up at him. “And so will I.”
Charlie blows out a harsh breath, and I see it’s hit him just as hard as it has everyone else.
It’s fucked. All of it.
“Go do what you need to do, Aldridge. I’ll get fuel and take Scar’s car back to the estate.”
He nods. “Get that wrapped up in something. They’ll have bandages up at the fuel station.”
I flex my hand. The worst of the damage is halfway up my middle finger, the skin mangled. “Yeah.”
Charlie leaves, and I walk to my car, observing the mess I’ve made of the rear window.
“Stupid dumb fuck.”
I clear what I can of the shattered glass from the seats, then set off to the nearest fuel station.
TWENTY-TWO
Scarlet
I don’t hear him coming until he’s standing on the threshold of the kitchen, his tall frame seemingly stuck there in the entrance.
Dragging my eyes away from the tea I have cupped in my hands, I look across at him. “You can come in. Freya just popped home to get some things.”
He nods as he steps into the room, stopping at the edge of the counter. “I brought your car back. There’s a jerry can in the garage… in case you need it again.” He places the keys to the Audi softly on the kitchen island, and I frown, catching the bandage wrapped around his hand.
I shift my gaze up and find his eyes boring into me. “I’m so sorry, Scarlet.”
I manage a small smile, but it hurts. Everything hurts so bad. “Yeah.”
All I want is to go to him. To stand in his arms. Just his presence is killing me. So close but out of reach.
I need him.
Lance made himself matter, and now I don’t want to say goodbye.
“What I said before.” I stare at my tea, barely able to look at him. “I didn’t mean it, and I shouldn’t have said what I did—”
“It was true.”
“Not all of it.” I shake my head and swallow. “It came from a place of pain, and I’m so sorry. If I hurt you—”
“Scar, just stop,” he snaps. “You don’t have to do this.”
My face screws up, but I force down the tears. “It would be so easy to fall in love with you right now, Lance.”
His face turns hard, the shock of my words a slap to the face which I don’t want or mean but can’t take back.
“You shocked me. Was more than I expected in so many ways that mattered to me. And I want you for so many reasons. I want…” I pause, more tears welling in my eyes that only make me angrier at myself. Angry at him, even, and I can’t let that happen. Not Lance. “Dad’s gone, just like that. And Mason can barely look at me. I can’t do this with you now, no matter how much I want you… because I do want you, Lance.” I peer up at him. “But I won’t sit here and pretend it’s what I need because it isn’t. I need time. Time for so many things. I know it like I knew it when we first met. This wasn’t a mistake, but it’s nothing like what we thought it would be, and now there are consequences.”
