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I felt things being in his room. Feelings planted firmly enough I know they’ll always be there. No matter the time or circumstance.
“You won’t go back in with Ave?” Mia frowns.
“Not until he’s at home.” I swallow down the guilt-ridden lump forming in my throat. “I’ll tell Waverley how it is. Make sure she understands it’s me wanting to wait and not him.”
Neither of them says a word, and I drop my cup to the table. “Go on.”
They stare at one another briefly before looking back at me.
“It’s okay to care about him,” Annie tells me. “We wouldn’t think less of you. You know that, right?”
I shake my head. “Of course I care. It’s just…” I drop my eyes to the table. “I can’t and won’t ever go back to that… to…”
“To the woman crying and broken on the shower floor?”
I shift my gaze to Mia and nod, knowing she understands—knowing that both of these women understand after all they’ve been through.
“I think my brother and friends think it’s all going to work out and be okay between us eventually, as if I’ve been holding out all these years forhim. But I can’t do that. I wouldn’t do that again.” I stare at my coffee cup, wondering how ridiculous I must sound. “He’s Ave’s dad. But that’s all he’ll ever be.”
It’s all he can be.
It is.
It’s all he can ever be.
No matter how wrong that feels to say out loud. To think. To feel. It’s the truth.
Ithasto be.
“Does it make me a bad person? To not want to fix it for Ave?”
“Not at all,” Annie says quickly, giving me a soft smile.
Mia shrugs. “We can’t be sad, broken bitches if you’re happy.” A playful grin slowly dances across her mouth, apologetic yet knowing.
I chuckle. “I guess that’s true.”
“Hey.” Annie grasps my hand on the table, giving me her reassurance. “Let us deal with room three.”
Lance
“And sleep… any improvement?”
I look up as Mia’s question pulls me from my trance. I frown. “Why are you back in here?”
“I’m covering for your doctor,” she tells me, but I sense there are other reasons. Considering she’s not been in all day and should be finishing her shift soon. “Sleep? Any? None?”
I check the clock on the wall.
Eight more minutes.
“I’ll go with none.”
“I slept last night,” I tell her and then watch as her face twists up in thought as she lowers the folder in her hands.
“You did?” She shakes her head as if confused. “After Dr Lowell got you up on your crutches?”
I wet my lips and move my eyes to the door, warmth spreading through my chest. A rarity these days. “Yeah.”
