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He shrugged. “Our last visit wasn’t… pleasant. She came to see me in the hospital. She wanted to know what had happened inside the building, so I told her. I told her the ugly truth and then sent her away. Told her to stay away. She’s stayed away. I’m sure she blames me. I sure as hell blame myself. He wouldn’t have been there if not for me.”
“Are you certain of that?” Willow’s expression had turned doubtful. “From what you’ve said about Daniel, he sounds like the kind of guy who would have gone in whether he was on call or not. So would you. That’s who you are. It’s hardwired into you.”
Noah suddenly needed to move. He rose from the sofa and walked over to the toy box, where he tossed the tug rope into its depths. Then he glared at the gas logs, wishing it were a wood fire so he could pick up a fireplace poker and stir the logs. He needed to do something physical.
He settled for giving the toy box a good, solid kick and dumped it over. Thinking this must be a new game, the puppy leaped down from Willow’s lap and made a beeline for the toys. Noah linked his fingers behind his head withhis elbows extended wide. He stared blindly at a rawhide bone that had spilled from the box. “I can’t face his wife and daughter, okay? I can’t. I just can’t. I’m a coward.”
The springs in his sofa squeaked when she rose and approached him. Noah tensed. Her touch was as gentle as a feather when she slipped her arms around his waist and rested her cheek against his back.
He closed his eyes against the pressure building behind them. His chest was tight from churning emotion—regret and grief and guilt. So much guilt. As fresh today as the day of Daniel’s funeral.“Time heals all wounds” is a damned lie.
A shudder swept over him. Noah knew he was about to seriously lose it, so he pulled away from Willow and turned to flee.
She stopped him. She stepped in front of him and stopped him with a hand against his chest. Sincerity gleamed in her gaze and echoed in her voice as she stated, “You’re not a coward, Noah. You’re just not ready yet.”
Then she went up onto her tiptoes and kissed him tenderly.
That one small expression of faith in him was all it took.
Noah broke. He kissed her back. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her hard against him. Moving his lips over hers, he plunged his tongue into her mouth and poured out his anguish and his pain. Seeking comfort. Seeking oblivion. Seeking that warmth that was Willow.
What he found was heat. Willow kissed him back. She molded herself against him and circled his neck with her arms. Her fingers sank into his hair. She tasted like honey and heaven, and when she moaned against his mouth, his blood ran hot and burned away the memories that plagued him. The nip of her teeth against his lower lip banished all awareness beyond the woman in his arms.
He backed her against the wall, the pressure of her body pressed against him, both pleasure and pain. Her hands moved urgently across his back, and her nails scratched his neck. Noah shuddered. Willow groaned. He lifted her off the floor, and she wrapped her legs around him and sighed with pleasure.
He wanted. Oh, how he wanted. He buried his face against her neck and made her shudder when he found a sensitive spot below her ear. He rocked against her in that age-old rhythm that had him clenching his teeth and caused sweat to bead on his brow.
He could carry her upstairs to his bed and deal with this. She wouldn’t protest. By all indications, she’d be an enthusiastic participant. And yet their timing was off.
“Wait.” Noah tore his mouth away from her. He was tempted back by the sweet skin of her neck to press a string of kisses from her ear to her collarbone. She tasted so good. Smelled so delicious. He badly wanted to silence this kernel of conscience that was telling him to stop, except he couldn’t.
“Wait,” he repeated, stepping away from her but keeping his hands firmly around her waist. He was unable to make himself stop touching her. “This is bad timing, Willow.”
“Why?” she asked, her voice thready.
“I’m a mess right now. Don’t get me wrong. I’m very attracted to you. Have been since the moment we met. I would love nothing more than to take you upstairs to the bed in my loft this moment. But I have no business starting a relationship with any woman, much less a woman with children. I have nothing to give you. Maybe someday—”
“Hush, Noah.” Willow put her finger over his lips. “No harm, no foul. I’m very attracted to you, too. Obviously. But the last thing I need in my life right now is a romanticrelationship. That said, I like you, Noah. I could use a friend. Tonight. I would love to be your friend tonight.”
Noah stilled. He did not want to make a mistake here, but he wasn’t certain what the mistake would be. He needed a friend, too. Absolutely. But could she be looking for more? Could he? Was there any possibility that this could be more than a one-night, soft place to fall for one another? He wanted her. Oh yeah, he wanted her. But he wanted it to be right. “Okay, I may be reading this all wrong. I’m seriously out of practice here. Is this sort of like that support-person thing? Support-person sex?”
She laughed softly. “Maybe so. I don’t know, Noah. I know that I’m feeling selfish right now. My life is a mess, and I can’t see beyond tomorrow, but I want tonight for me. I haven’t been with a man since my husband. If you want me, then I’ll choose you. Just for tonight. Will you take me upstairs, Noah?”
“You’re sure?”
“You think I’d make a little speech like that if I wasn’t sure?”
He studied her, read the promise and the certainty in the steadiness of her eyes. A feeling began to uncurl inside him, and it took him a moment to identify it. Happiness.I’ll be damned.“First one, hmm?”
“Yes.”
His lips twisted ruefully. “Bit of pressure, there.”
“Not really,” she assured him, a gleam of amusement entering her eyes. “Not a hard act to follow, so to speak.”
Noah’s mouth lifted in a crooked grin. “What I should do is sweep you up into my arms like a romance novel hero and kiss you passionately as I carry you up the spiral staircase and then lay you across my bed.”
He leaned forward and nipped her chin. Willow pouted. “That’s not what you’re going to do?”
