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Knowing she was safe surrounded by my pack, I left the room and padded downstairs silently, heading for the kitchen where I set the coffee maker to percolate.
The clock on the microwave caught my attention as I walked by. Four AM. I hoped the coffee would be strong, because I had barely slept last night, and I doubted this day would afford me the luxury of a nap. With the bloodletting in less than twenty-four hours, I suspected rest wouldn’t find me regardless.
I passed Dason’s bedroom on the way to my own, hearing the distant sound of a shower running as I went into my room and closed the door.
The cool wood was a grounding force at my back as I leaned against the door, huffed out a breath, and closed my eyes. I scrubbed my hands over the scruff on my jaw, trying to figure out what our next move was. The elders had been no help when it came to the grimoire, and without it, we were pretty much fucked.
We needed to find that thing.
But more importantly, the rest of my pack needed to bond Lorn to themselves as a mate. She needed to become a permanent pack member, and she needed her anchors if she had any chance of surviving.
There was no fucking way I’d lose her. Especially not because my alpha couldn’t pull his head out of his ass long enough to realize that he was actually crazy about our feisty mate. She kept him on his toes, and that was exactly what he needed.
The shower was hot against my skin as I washed quickly, taking time to shave and leaving only the signature patch of hair on my chin.
I towel dried my long black hair and tossed the wet cloth into the hamper, then grabbed my favorite pair of gray sweats. Wearing them was like watching your favorite movie for the hundredth time or coming across a scent that reminded you of a happy moment in your childhood. They were perfectly broken in, soft, and hung just right off my hips.
When I heard Dason’s bedroom door open, I was only a minute behind him, heading for the kitchen where he was pouring himself a steaming mug of coffee.
The rich aroma filled the kitchen, helping me wake up.
“She alright?” he asked quietly, gazing up the stairs before blowing a cooling breath across the top of his mug. He waited for an answer, staring at me over the rim.
“She’s strong. She’ll be okay. It was just a lot to process last night,” I explained, opening the cabinet to grab my own mug. The dark liquid splashed along the sides of the ceramic as I filled it.
“We should have explained how shadow touched were made before we ever took her to the pack party.” Dason’s voice was full of regret, the growl of anger vibrating in his tone.
As his beta, I knew he was upset with himself. Dason and I had always been close growing up, and I liked to think I knew him better than he even knew himself sometimes. He was hard on himself, the first to reprimand himself when he made a mistake. It was both a strength and a weakness. He never gave himself enough credit, and yet his ability to self reflect made him a great leader.
“We were trying to protect her. She wasn’t ready to hear it when we first met her. It was enough to learn what she was and her role in our world. Learning any more would have been difficult on her,” I admitted, just as guilty as Dason and the rest of the pack for neglecting to share that important bit of information with our mate. “I hate that she’s been blindsided by it, but I also can’t think of a time it would have come up naturally in conversation without knocking the breath out of her.”
“I’ve fucked this all up,” Dason confessed. “I wasn’t prepared for any of this. She’s nothing like I thought she’d be when I first laid eyes on her.”
“That’s a good thing though, because let’s be honest… you didn’t give her much of a chance when she crashed into our territory with Axel.” I sent him a pointed look as I grabbed the milk from the fridge and added it to my coffee, followed by a scoop of sugar. I liked it sweet and creamy where Dason preferred it black.
How he drank it like that, I had no clue.
“I’m not sure she’s ready for the kind of life I’ve been building for us all, but I can’t stay away from her anymore. She’s…” He trailed off, shaking his head as he leaned against the counter.
“She’s amazing. You just need to give her a fighting chance, Dase.” As hard as it would be to split even more of my time with Lorn between my packmates, I wanted to see their relationships grow and bloom. Taking a healthy swallow of coffee, I let the caffeine bolster what I needed to say next. “Besides, the longer you deny yourself a relationship with her, the longer it will take to get to the happily ever after I know you crave.” I paused, letting my words sink through his thick skull and grinning when he sighed and dropped his head in resignation, before dropping my next bomb. “Even if you’re not ready to take the leap of faith, I think you’re out of time.”
Dason lifted his head. “I know,” he said so low and deep I barely made it out. “I won’t compromise Lorn’s safety.”
“I’m glad to hear it. I was ready to kick your ass if you put up a fight,” I teased, though truth ran through each word.
“You could’ve tried.” Dason smirked for a moment before it fell away. “She’s not going to be happy about this.”
“I don’t know. I think in many regards, she’s ready to be officially mated. An actual part of this pack.”
Dason was silent as he downed the rest of his coffee and set the mug in the sink.
“I need to run,” he rasped, his primal spirit close to the surface. “Come with me?” he requested over his shoulder as he headed for the screen door.
I chugged the rest of my coffee in answer and abandoned my mug as I followed him outside, the screen door banging quietly with my exit.
The air was cool, the heat of the day eclipsed by the shadowy night. My magick rose naturally, crawling over my skin like a gentle caress. I took a minute and secured my clothing to shift with me, unwilling to ruin my favorite sweats as my bones broke and reformed.
Four paws landed in the dirt, my nails scraping through it, and I shook out my gray coat. Becoming my wolf spirit was just another method of coming home. This skin felt almost as natural as my human form to my primal animal, though I couldn’t say the wolf’s spirit called to me any more than any of my other animals. I was just most comfortable in this form, like I was in my favorite gray sweatpants.
