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“Are you asking me, or telling me?” I pulled from her grasp, and her eyes flashed with hurt.
“I’m just trying to understand.”
I blew out a breath and shoved my hands into my dark hair. It wasn’t fair to be upset with her when she didn’t understand. And how could she? The reality was so much darker than she’d be able to guess.
“I’ll explain everything,” I promised. “But you have to drop that wall you’re hiding behind.” She held herself back from me and it muted the bond. I hated not feeling her so vibrantly.
She was like heroin. And I was already addicted.
Blowing out a breath, some of the tension leached from her shoulders. “You get one chance.” Wrapping her arms around herself, she moved to sit on the bed, curling her legs under her. “Tell me everything.” The bond opened, but it wasn’t enough.
I arched a brow and crossed my arms.
Huffing in annoyance, she pursed her lips and dropped the remaining hold, opening the bond fully. Then peeked at me under her lashes to gauge my reaction to the swirling darkness that churned like a storm on the horizon. The strength of it terrified me, but I didn’t let that show. I already cared about this girl, had loved her from a distance, and now that I had her, she was in danger of losing herself.
Why the fuck wasn’t she mated to the others? She needed her anchors, and she needed themnow.
Holding back wasn’t an option. When Lorn’s other mates undoubtedly found us, they’d rip us apart in an instant and refuse to let me anywhere near her. They’d blame me for everything that went down, and they wouldn’t be wrong. If I didn’t explain everything to Lorn, I had no chance of having a future with her. And the others.
What would it be like to belong to a pack, a family, that wasn’t fucked up?
“I’m sorry,” Lorn said. “I didn’t want you to feel it.” She clawed at her chest with one hand, her nails biting into her skin. “It’s getting worse,” she admitted.
“You’ve had too much exposure to the veil in too short a time. I’ve seen it before,” I told her.
“Your dad?”
“He had darkness inside of him long before he started accessing the veil, but, yes. For years, he’s been summoning shades into our realm. And every time, it makes the darkness inside of him grow.”
Lorn leaned forward. “How is he doing it?”
“He’s only able to summon one at a time with an ancient spell, and it takes a tremendous amount of his magick. The toll it takes weakens him for weeks, but it’s a small price to pay for the army he’s amassed in the veil. They’re at his beck and call, and he brings them to the mortal realm whenever he has use for them. They’re completely under his control.”
“Master,” she whispered with a shiver. “That’s what they call him.” She shook it off and glanced at me with drawn brows. “But what does this have to do with you? How do you fit into this picture?”
“Everything with your mom really fucked him up, but he eventually married my mom, and they had me.” An image of my mother swam through my memory, frozen in time. “My mom was full of light and love. The complete opposite of my father. He never deserved her, and his madness got her killed. Almost killed me too.” I paced in front of the bed as I spoke, too antsy to stand still. I felt Lorn’s sympathy.
“I’m so sorry. I can’t imagine what it’s like to lose a parent.”
I shot her a weighted look. “I think you can.”
Tears pressed in behind her eyes. “My dad’s not lost to me yet. Not completely.”
“No,” I agreed. “He’s not.” Exhaling, I dove back in. “A band of warlocks who were retaliating against my father attacked us. I was only seven, but I still remember the blood and the vacant look in my mother’s eyes as I begged her to get up.” I tipped my head toward the ceiling, swallowed hard, then cleared my throat. “When my father found me, I was near the end. I don’t know why he saved me, but he used a shade to possess a strong vampire and brought him to our house. You can guess the rest.” I let my fangs descend with a low hiss. “When I awoke, I didn’t understand what had happened, and my father took advantage of my confusion. He saw an opportunity to use me as a tool. As long as he controlled my sire, he controlled me. The first exercise of his control was to compel me never to attack him, and the second made it so that I couldn’t speak about being a vampire, my sire, my father’s plans, none of it.”
Lorn’s heartbreak radiated through our connection. “How are you telling me all of this, then?”
I stopped before her. “The only thing that can break a sire bond is a mate bond, love. You said I saved you, but really, you’re the one who saved me.”
“Tye,” she scooted to the end of the bed. Her desire to cross to me, to wrap her arms around me, was strong. I felt her need to comfort me, but she held back. “Your father compelled you to possess my father, didn’t he?”
“No,” I swore. “I wasn’t there that day.”
“But I saw you.” Her hands dug into the mattress, putting divots into the material. “Same height, build, hair color…”
“You saw someone who looked like me. Think about it, Lorn. When was the first time you scented me?”
“The night of the bloodletting…”
