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That’s what I’ve been telling myself since I stepped foot in here. It didn't work, so I got too drunk to care. And now I’m on the dance floor ofhisclub with another man’s hands on my body.
With each hour that’s ticked by, I’ve become more and more certain that I’m going home with Bjorn, even if it’s just to prove that point to myself.
How long should you give yourself to get over a break up from a man you were only fake dating? Sorry, fake engaged to. Married to? Whatever the hell it was.
I’m certain that he’s already moved on. Hell, he told me himself it was all a lie.
Bjorn dips his head, and the warmth of his breath skating over the shell of my ear does absolutely nothing for me. In theory, I should be excited to go home with this six foot three mountain of a man, but it couldn’t be further from the truth.
Before Sebastian, I would have had no issues with this blonde haired, blue-eyed beauty taking me home. That thought is what drives me to nod when he asks me if I’m ready to leave.
I’m not.
Not with him.
I’m desperately trying to prove to myself that Sebastian hasn’t ruined me for another man. That I’m strong enough to move on. The alcohol coursing through my blood helps me do just that.
We move through the crowd, my hand clasped in Bjorn’s as he leads the way. My hips sway to the beat ofHow Deep is Your Loveby Calvin Harris.
A hand lands on my waist, just below my ribcage, and I’m pulled into the side of another warm solid body, my hand slipping from Bjorn’s. A thrill runs through my body that he’s finally come for me, that’s until I look up and see Matt’s face pulled into a hard scowl as he talks to Bjorn.
I watch their exchange with rapt drunken fascination, but it soon dispels when Bjorn turns on his heel and walks through the crowd.
“Hey.” I wriggle out of Matt’s hold and move through the crowd, calling out, “Bjorn!”
He doesn’t turn around, even though I’m certain he can hear me.
Maybe his name isn’t Bjorn.Shit, I should have paid more attention.
When I turn back to face Matt, I find him hovering behind me with a look of uncertainty on his face.
“What the hell was that about?” I poke him in the chest and he takes a step back.
His eyes dart to the glass that hides Sebastian’s office and almost instinctively I hold up my middle finger in a salute to the glass, because I know he’s watching. I’ve felt him all night. Like I always do, and it infuriates me.
I step up to Matt, and he dips his head so I can say, “Tell him to fuck off and leave me the hell alone.”
My stride is purposeful as I go to step around Matt, back to the center of the crowd, more determined than ever to find someone to go home with. I’m stopped mid-stride as Matt’s large hand wraps around my bicep.
“I wouldn’t do that if I was you.”
I round on him, furious that he thinks he can tell me what to do. That Sebastian thinks he has any say in what I do. “Don’t you dare tell me what I can and can’t do. You don't have a clue what he’s put me through. If I want to go and dance, then I can, andheisn’t going to stop me.”
Matt holds up his hands, a knowing smirk on his lips. “Hey, I was just saying, you don’t want to piss him off any more than he already is.”
“Pisshimoff? That’s laughable. He’d have to feel something in order for me to do that.”
Done with the conversation and wanting to find somewhere else to end my night, I turn around to walk to the exit. I come up short though when I see him and it’s like I’ve been hit by a truck.Is he real?I hate that he looks so fucking good, like the time apart has been good for him. All of the air leaves me, the front I’ve put on crumbling to the floor. Tears form in my eyes and I pray to God they don’t fall.
Fuck the alcohol leaving me with no control over my emotions.
Iwantto leave but I’m frozen like a statue, terrified to move in case I break. In case I show him how much he’s hurt me. My eyes drink him in, like I’ve been stranded in a desert and he’s an oasis. He’s dressed casually in black jeans and a white shirt—my favorite of his outfits—on his feet are a pair of biker boots.
He looks good and I hate it.
Breathe.
My focus shifts to breathing as he moves toward me.
