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“How long?”
I swallow, unsure if he’ll still be as excited about it when I tell him. My eyes seek him out as I say, “Three months, maybe more.”
His eyes widen as he looks away momentarily. “Wow. That’s a long time.”
Neither of us speaks for a moment, the reality of what this would mean cloaking us in a cloud of sadness. I open my mouth to speak at the same time as Noah does.
“It’s okay, angel. I’ll come out and see you every chance I get, and we can call or video chat. We’ll make it work.”
I love this man.
Leaning forward, I capture his lips with mine, afraid that if I speak, I’ll tell him just that. Instead, I tell him with my body how much I’ll miss him and how deeply I care for him.
THIRTY-SIX
Noah
My throat feels thick. Like I’m being slowly suffocated by my own body and no matter how much I gasp for air, I can’t get enough. Running a finger around the collar of my shirt does nothing to ease the feeling of being strangled.
Jack is a silent partner in the firm, although he still hasn’t quite grasped the idea of the silent part and likes to come into the office on occasion. Which means he knows half the people in this room.
Was this a bad idea?
Christ, who am I kidding? Of course it was a bad idea. How can you not remember a fucking knockout like Van?
She’s looking like a sexy Mrs. Klaus tonight in her tight red dress and silver strappy shoes with fur around the ankles. Her lips are coated in a red lipstick. She had to fix it before we left the apartment, because I couldn’t help myself.
A pain hits me in the chest, twisting and tightening with each breath I drag in.
I feel guilty.
For wanting her. For betraying Jack. For hurting one of them when this inevitably comes to light.
Right now, Savannah’s talking to a group of guys that work in our IT department. Instead of a feeling of pride at her being mine, I’m stuck with the panic at being outed and not prepared for the possibility of my thirteen year friendship coming to an end.
Savannah lifts her head, her eyes searching for me.
When she finds me, a soft smile lights up her face before her brows pull together with concern. She turns to excuse herself from the group, and I watch the gentle sway of her hips as she walks toward me.
It’s the strangest feeling, wanting to be seen by someone at the same time as wanting to hide from them. The weight of it all feels like it’s crushing me.
I was fine asking her to come with me, but as the week has gone on, having her here has plagued my mind. Every waking thought is filled with what if’s. What if Jack finds out before I can tell him? What if Savannah tells someone she’s with me? What if I told her I couldn’t do this?
I throw back my drink, placing the empty glass on the table beside me. There’s one thing I know for certain. I won’t give her up. I can’t. She has my heart and has for thirteen years.
“Here you are, man.” Teddy claps me on the shoulder, his gray eyes alight with mischief.
The smile I give him feels fraudulent on my lips. He’s dressed in his signature black suit and shirt, looking like he’s going to a funeral.
Hell.He just might.
When Jack finds out I’ve been fucking his sister, he’s going to kill me. And I can’t blame him.
“Hey, Teddy, how are you?” Savannah asks, coming to a stop in front of us.
Hunger fills her gaze when she turns to me. My body relaxes as I inhale her signature scent and I stuff my hands in my pockets to keep from touching her. As conflicted as I am about the betrayal of my promise to Jack, one thing is clear, I still want her. As much as, if not more than, my next breath.
“Hi, Van. You look delectable this evening,” Teddy praises pulling me back into the party.
