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A hiss escapes from my lips and I rest my forehead against hers, closing my eyes as she spasms around me.
I gasp as I fight against the rising tide inside of me. “Fuck. I forgot the condom. I’m so sorry, angel.”
Delicate fingers smooth over the lines that have formed on my face. When I open my eyes, I find nothing but affection gazing back at me. So much being said in her dark gaze. I don’t want to be wrong about what I see there. My arms tingle with a hopefulness that slowly spreads from head to toe.
“It’s okay. I’m on the pill and I…” She swallows thickly before continuing, “I trust you. I want to feel you inside of me. All of you.”
Lifting up, she kisses me, moving her hips as she urges me on. Why does this feel like so much more than anything I’ve ever experienced before? Neither of us can stop this. Can stopus.
I start slow and steady, but when I feel her walls gripping me every time I bottom out, I can’t control my hips. My thrusts are almost punishingly jerky as I chase out my completion.
My words come out hoarse, needing to make sure I haven’t misunderstood her when I say, “I’m going to cum.”
I go to move out of her, but her fingers dig into my ass cheeks, pulling me close. My eyes seek hers out, asking for permission even as I explode inside of her. Savannah’s eyes flutter closed, her back arching as she comes, milking the last of my cum from me.
I love you.
Broken, I close my eyes, holding inside of her for a moment. When I open them, she’s looking up at me, as the last spasms of her orgasm wrack through her body.
Certain that she’s finished, I pull out and collapse onto the bed next to her. Our labored breaths are the only sounds filling the room. She’s staring up at the ceiling, but when her hand reaches out to clasp mine, she turns to me with glassy eyes.
My brow furrows, confused at the lost look in her gaze. When I go to open my mouth, she lifts her finger, silencing me. Savannah buries herself into my side and I take the comfort I get from that simple act. My body relaxes and my eyes flutter closed as I succumb to the fatigue I’ve fought for the last three months.
In the morning, I’ll force her to talk to me. For us to figure this out.
What just happened meant more than either of us might be ready for. But if we face it head on together, I know it’ll be a journey of beauty and love. One where we can take on the world.
FORTY
Noah
Amonth ago, I woke up alone in a hotel room in Albany, New York. Savannah had skipped out in the night, leaving a note asking me to give her one more month and then we can figure us out. I thought something indescribable had happened between us, but she’s been distant since that night, saying she needs to concentrate on her work.
I don’t like how her distance makes me feel, like on her list of priorities I don’t come first. For a moment, a wave of guilt descends upon me and I can’t help but feel like this is just karma biting me on the ass for how I treated Sutton all those months. No matter how valid and time consuming work is, making someone feel like this, with a sense of rejection, is never justifiable.
The first time I’ve seen Van in person since that night was as she walked down the aisle earlier today. This morning, her bus was running late, so she went straight to Alex’s to get ready. It’s part of her bridesmaid duties, apparently.
Her light green dress floats around her, highlighting the warmer colors in her hair as it tumbles down her back in bouncy curls. For a second, as she walked down the aisle, I imagined what she’d look like walking down it in a different dress. Would I be her groom or would I be watching on as she pledged her love to another man?
The image of her smiling at another man, making her way to him in a wedding dress, winded me and no matter how hard I try to banish it from my mind, it keeps coming back. Haunting me and reminding me of the promise I made.
Christ.I so desperately want to have it all, but I know I can’t.
Jack won’t forgive me for this.
All the way through the ceremony, I watched her as it felt like my air supply was being cut off. I just don’t know how to make this work. How do I have it all? How can I choose between the two of them?
My best friend and the girl I love.
In a daze, I met up with Savannah and traveled with her to the reception. We agreed to put the conversation we both know is coming on hold, to be there for Alex and Sebastian.
Savannah’s showing Meghan and Ben steps to a dance routine. She’s having fun, her head tipping back exposing the smooth column of her throat as she laughs loudly when she finds something especially funny.
Finishing my drink, I watch her freely. Her gaze lands on me and she sashays her way toward me with a drunken smile on her face. When she goes to sit in my lap, I stand. She doesn’t hide her confusion at my sudden movement but she does brush it off. “Are you gonna come dance?”
I hold up my glass as I shove my freehand into my suit pants. “Just heading to the bar. You want anything?”
Her mouth forms a perfect ‘O’ before she closes it and shakes her head. She looks over her shoulder, pointing to Meghan and Ben. “No, thanks. I’m gonna go back to dancing.” She walks away and I head to the bar.
