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“Yes. Weaponized unicorn horns and some ridiculous space-themed TV show on repeat on all the monitors on the walls. Serious business, I get it.”
“It’s our passion,” she said. “You get off on picking up random chicks at bars. We get off on this. More than that, we need it. It’s our livelihood and our future. So don’t come in here and fuck with it. With your suits and your…your shoes and your expensive hair.”
“I didn’t come here to mess anything up.”
“No, you were here for the nooky. Sorry I ruined your plans.” She was just annoyed now. Which was kind of nice because it made her feel less stumbly and awkward.
“For the nooky?” he asked.
“You know what I mean.”
“You think I’m here for sex.”
“You made that pretty clear.”
His expression shifted several times in the space of ten seconds and she couldn’t read all the nuance there. But when he settled on an expression, it was bland and beautiful. “That’s why I’m anywhere, Evie.”
She coughed. “You have a problem.”
“Is it really a problem if you’re totally happy with it? Though, I did tell you I’d help with the flirting stuff. And I will.”
“Fine.” She opened and closed her hands. “Have a seat. I have app crap to show you so pay attention.”
“I think ‘Unicorn Strike’ is probably more to my taste level.”
“Too bad, bitch,” she said, “you signed yourself up for this project, now you’re going to help. You’re a manwhore, you ought to be able to help me figure out just how to lay out all this pertinent info. And you can tell me if any of the tips are BS. In that regard, your role as consultant makes perfect sense.”
“I think I’m flattered. Let me see what you’ve got.”
She handed him her phone. “Okay, what I’m working on right now is some kind of interactive features for the lists so they don’t seem stagnant. But the problem with the sex tips is that everything I think of is pornographic.”
He laughed. “Really?”
“Yes, really. Okay.” She sat at her computer. “Scroll through. I’ve got the most up-to-date beta version on my phone.”
“Yeah…” he said, “I think including pictures of the woman licking a popsicle and…a papaya on your oral fixation section is a touch overboard.”
“Well, I couldn’t put them licking actual penises and vaginas. I have standards.”
He actually laughed at her. “I like it when you talk dirty.”
“This is an issue, Caleb. And it is now your job. Oversee.”
“It’s a no on the popsicles. I mean, if you’re concerned about people being offended, which is sort of funny considering the content of the article. But strange things offend, trust me.”
She leaned back in her chair. “I imagine you’re an expert at offending.” He shrugged. “I’m okay at it.”
“Any other ideas?”
“I think we should call the geek squad in for a consultation.”
“No. There’s a reason I’ve been doing most of this project on my own.”
“Are you embarrassed?” he asked, swiping his finger over the screen.
“Are you…are you perving on the animation?”
“Yeah.” He looked up at her. “Did you…did you do the art for this?”
