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Gus laughed, hard and humorless. “This is it, dipshit. Congratulations.”
“Itcan’tbe.”
“It is. You feel like garbage, you’re running away, you’re terrified for your very soul. Sounds like love to me.”
“But...”
“There’s nobut. It just is what it is. It’s terrible, horrible and awful. But it’s the best damn thing you’ll ever do. It’s also the hardest. You turn your ass back around, and you go tell her that you’re gonna work it out.”
“But why does it feel like this for me? I don’t feel...healed or easy or at peace. I feel...like I’m breaking apart.”
“Because it’s hard to change. And you’ve spent a long time telling yourself there was something wrong with you. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you you were all right. I was too busy...you know.” He gestured to his scars.
“It isn’t your fault...”
“Yeah, I know,” Gus said. “None of this is our fault, is it? And nothing is wrong with you.”
“Gus...”
“The only thing wrong with you would be if you left behind a woman who loved you, a child who needed you. This is your moment. Decide who you’re going to be. Not who Dad made you feel like you were.”
Lachlan stood there. Then he looked back toward his truck, back toward the dark road he was driving down.
He didn’t know who he was. His mind went back to that moment when he had first seen Charity in the woods. She was his anchor. That was when he had known. Who he was. What he could be. What he wanted. It had only ever been clear with her.
She was the only thing that could ever stitch him back together. And here he was, torn apart and bleeding. And he needed her.
He was afraid. Gus was right. He was a coward and a jackass. And he wasn’t protecting her. He was trying to protect him. And he had been, from the beginning.
He had never kissed Charity when he was younger, because if he had she would have been everything. And what if she saw that thing in him that made him unlovable? That made him so wrong?
He didn’t know what it would take to shake that feeling. But he did know he had to be willing to risk himself for her.
Because she was worth it.
They were worth it.
“You’re right,” he said. “I have to go back.”
“Damn right you do.”
He got into the car, and drove. His foot almost all the way down on the gas. He passed Smokey’s. That place where he had spent so many of his nights. So many nights chasing oblivion. Running away from real, deep feelings.
Now he was running to them. All the way.
He just had to hope that he hadn’t broken things irreparably between them.
SHEHADKNELTdown on the living room floor, and she hadn’t gotten up. She was in too much pain. Everything hurt. Without Lachlan...everything felt dark.
Around her. Over her. In her.
Then suddenly, she heard tires on the gravel driveway. A door slammed.
Footsteps on the front porch.
The door flung open. “Charity?”
She pushed herself up into a seated position, horrified that she had been discovered this way.
