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“It’s perfect. I’m her Godmother, for goodness’ sake! Then you could get to the office. I could watch Mae, take her to those baby playdates you hate so much.”
“The women are sojudgy.”
Hannah laughed. “You’rejudgy.”
“Sometimes,” Olivia nodded, laughing. She wiped her tears. “I’m just super hormonal right now.”
Hannah hadn’t forgotten how challenging it was to care for a baby, and she knew Olivia had it extra hard. She worked partly from home, and as a small-town lawyer, she was often swamped with work. With Jesse out in the fields all day, Hannah couldn’t believe they’d gone it alone for as long as they had. “You should hire me.”
Olivia looked at her. “You really want to watch Mae?”
“I can come to the farm, take care of her and help around the house, you know, like with the wash and cleaning.”
Olivia’s eyes widened as the idea set in. “What about Hooley’s?”
“It’s actually perfect timing, I need to move on from Hooley’s.”
“Really?”
Hannah didn’t want to lie to Olivia. But she squirmed at the idea of admitting the truth, that she needed this. She couldn’t stand the idea of having to go back to being a burden on this family. Luckily, Olivia was excited enough at the idea that she didn’t push any further.
“Hannah, that would be great!” And she threw her arms around her.
She bit her bottom lip to hold back the trembling. “Thanks, Olivia.”
Olivia playfully smacked her arm. “It’ll be just like old times. Besides, you need an excuse to take more walks with the hotty neighbor down the road.”
She shook her head, ignoring how her belly swirled at the thought of walking beside him.
“You two really would be cute together.”
Hannah almost choked on her own laugh. “Jake Malloy isn’t interested in some washed-up single mom. Trust me.”
“I wish you would see what we all see.”
She bit back a retort. Olivia just didn’t get it.Shewas the kind of woman a Jake Malloy would want. Never a Hannah.
* * *
Jake stared at the gun in his hand like he did almost every night. He’d been sitting there long enough for his skin to warm the cold steel. Some nights he held it, sometimes he placed it on the table and studied it. Tonight, however, the living nightmares didn’t haunt him. It was habit, more than anything.
He thought about Hannah and her daughter.
He didn’t want to think about them. He didn’t want this feeling creeping inside of him. He’d chosen to ranch partially because of the imagined isolation. He wanted to be away from people. He almost wished he had ignored what was going on between Troy and her, like everyone else had.
He didn’t want another person in his life, another person to lose.
She had been quiet on the walk, but he’d enjoyed himself despite the awkwardness. He could still smell the soft fragrance she wore. Her daughter had kept the conversation going, talking about school, with Hannah saying little but obviously proud of her. He didn’t know if he was having some Freudian neurosis, comparing Hannah with his mother, but something about her made him feel out of control.
And he didn’t like it.
In the German hospital, he had been at his lowest. He’d wanted his gun. He knew it would only take a moment to end all his pain. Yet, he never could get past the knowledge that he’d break his mother’s heart. He would never be sure if he really would’ve used it, but not even having the choice had ground at his psyche.
Millie stirred under the table, her tags clinking against the wood floor.
He got up to make some coffee, leaving the weapon on the table. The motion startled the pig, and she jumped to her feet, ready to go.
“Let’s hit the barn.” He headed out with his first cup, the sun just peeking over the horizon.
