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It seemed to work, for as they drove to town, she went right back to their previous argument.
“I mean, I thought you were asking your stepdad for a promotion.”
He squeezed the wheel. “No,youthoughtI should ask for a promotion.”
“Well, he’s got a really successful business, and you’re like, part of thecrew.”
Jake couldn’t believe they were back to this again. “He’s not going to hire me for an office job.”
“Not if you don’t ask.” The look on her face showed her thoughts clearly enough. She was dating the wrong brother. Allison pouted throughout dinner, barely speaking to him.
“What’s going on with you two?” Josh asked, when the women got up to use the restroom.
Jake shrugged. “Same old thing.”
The truth was, he should’ve broken up with Allison months ago, because she thought the relationship was somewhere much further along than it was. Which was why, he supposed, she was always mad at him. She wanted a husband and family,now. Jake just wanted to get through the day. She talked about the future, and Jake was firmly fixated on the past.
They ate dinner at The Dock. It was a place he could barely afford, yet no one thought to ask his opinion.
“Let’s go to Lumberjacks,” Josh said as they left the table.
Jake was exhausted and wanted to do nothing more than get to bed. “I really should get some rest.”
“Come on, don’t go yet.”
“Yeah, let’s all hang out.” Veronica glanced at Allison.
“Maybe it’s all that extrahelpyou give,” Allison snarled. Her anger had ramped up when he admitted he wasn’t going to be able to make the festival the following weekend. The expensive tickets were more than he could afford.
“Just have Josh pay for it,” she said, after they got up to leave.
He shook his head. “I’m not really that interested in going, anyways.”
Allison huffed. “Where’s the Jake I used to know? The one who liked to have fun?”
Dead.
He wished he’d told Allison to go out without him, and walked with Hannah instead.
* * *
Hannah spread the blanket on the grass and arranged Mae’s toys. The day was perfect – sunny, a slight breeze, and a perfect 78 degrees in the shade. Mae crawled about, venturing off the blanket, but not going far enough away to get into trouble.
The Boudreaus were busy. One week left until the christening, and they had their hands full. Everyone seemed to be running around picking off last minute tasks. Hannah helped by watching Mae. Emma was with the cousins, riding horses. It made her feel warm inside to see Emma’s face glow in that special way. The way that said she belonged.
It meant everything to Hannah that Emma had something she never had. She ran around with Rosie’s and Annie’s boys as if they were real family, real blood. Yet a nagging, uneasy feeling kept worrying at her. She wanted to go for a walk. She had all the rationalizations ready in her head. Emma was occupied, she needed the exercise, Mae would love to see the pig. Ugh. The reality, of course, was that she wanted to see Jake.
She smacked her forehead and said to Mae, “Why do I still want to see him?”
Mae chewed her plastic rings and babbled something back.
“Am I falling for the same kind of guy? A man who can’t be trusted?”
She supposed she was being just a little unfair. Technically, she hadn’t told him she was still married, either. But it had been more than a decade since she and Troy had separated. The idea that she was still actually married to him seemed surreal.
She had never really dated. Troy had been her first and only boyfriend. Her only other experiences with men had been her father and her mother’s creepy boyfriends. And she’d already proven that she was a terrible judge of character. She had thoughtTroywas kind and thoughtful, a loyal protector. Did she have Jake all wrong? Was she just projecting onto him all the qualities that shewantedhim to have? Turning him into someone who was too perfect to be real?
She wished she could get up, grab the stroller, and head up the road. Then she looked at Emma, laughing as Conner did something she thought was hilarious. Hannah wanted this. She wanted Emma to have a family. The Boudreaus were wonderful stand-ins, but she wanted something more, something that wasreallytheirs. Siblings, and a family home where everyone could gather. She wanted Emma to have a real father, real in all the ways that mattered, someone who would protect her. What would happen if, God forbid, something ever happened to her?
