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That moment meant everything to Hannah, even if it had cost her everything she had left in her savings.
“It’s not just for fun, but also for safety.”
Emma opened up the box, pulling out the accessories and pressing buttons on the phone.
“I love it!”
“Here’s another gift.” Hannah passed over a small box. Inside was a protective phone case. She knew her daughter.
Emma hugged her again, and out came tears she’d tried to hold back. “Mommy, don’t cry.”
She scrubbed the tears away. “I’m so sorry, honey.”
Emma looked pensively out at the fields. “I know he wasn’t a good husband, but he said he was going to try to be a good dad.”
Hannah swallowed her response. If Emma could hang onto this one positive memory of her father, then let her.
“I just wish I got to know him,” she whispered. She turned abruptly and went into her room, her thumbs already working the phone’s buttons. Hannah stood there, alone with her thoughts. She understood what Emma was feeling. She had always wanted to know her father, too.
When they entered the kitchen, the air was filled with the scent of butter and cinnamon and maple syrup, and the table was laden with platters of pancakes. The family all sang as Emma stood in the doorway, blushing.
“You cooked all this?” There was enough to feed a whole congregation. She hadn’t really eaten much since Troy’s accident. As she looked at the fluffy pancakes and crisp bacon and freshly made cinnamon-apple muffins, her appetite returned with a will. She picked up a plate and served herself three pancakes, drizzling syrup with a heavy hand, then snagged some bacon and a muffin.
“Atta girl.” Maggie set Mae in the highchair and handed her a sippy cup of milk.
“I’m just suddenly really hungry,” she said.
Maggie nodded in satisfaction.
Breakfast over, the bus came to pick up the gaggle of kids. Emma seemed happy enough, getting on the bus. Olivia departed for her office, and Rosie headed out to the fields, leaving her alone with Maggie and the baby.
“When I lost Johnny, it was the hardest thing I ever had to go through.”
Hannah froze in the act of grabbing plates off the table. Maggie didn’t talk about her John very often. The father who Georgie, Rosie, and Annie frequently brought into conversation didn’t seem in any way comparable to Troy. He sounded like the perfect husband, and the best dad this side of the Mississippi.
“I sure was upset with God for taking him away from me.” Maggie cut up bite-sized pieces of pancake for Mae.
Hannah knew Maggie well enough to let her keep talking, that there’d be a piece of advice in there somewhere.
“I tried hard to stay the same, after he died.” She poked the fork into the piece of pancake and fed it to Mae. “I stayed busy. I cleaned and decluttered. I did all the same things I did before, my clubs, my bible studies, church dinner. I watched the same shows, I sat in the same spot, I went to sleep at the same time.
“But what I didn’t understand was that death changes you, and you’ll never be the same again. No matter how hard you try to hang onto the past.”
Hannah was suddenly able to take a breath. It was as if someone had spoken straight to her soul. “No, you won’t.”
Maggie nodded. “And I stayed angry. Real angry.”
Hannah felt it, too. How could God give her more than she could handle?
“But as I let that anger grow inside of me, I forgot all the good things life had given me, that I still had in my life.”
She looked at Mae.
“In time, I started looking around and celebrating all that I had. I started to see I could be happy for tomorrow, because of what God gave me yesterday. I stopped thinking of John as being gone, and paid attention to how he’ll live on. My heart was not empty because he wasn’t there, but full, from the love we shared.”
Maggie epitomized happiness, gratitude, and celebration of a blessed life, but Hannah was not there yet. “You’re right, Maggie.”
“I know you and Troy went through hard times, but I know you loved him in your own way, and I know that he gave you more than what you lost.”
