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She looked past him, out toward the fields. “Why didn’t you just ask for the money?”
“Maybe because I already knew the answer,” he said.
“Did you?” She shook her head.
“Why are you mad at me?”
“Because all I’ve ever asked is for you two to get along. Why can’t you just look past your differences, for me?”
“How is him firing me somehow my fault?”
“Ugh! You make me so mad, Jacob Michael Ryland!” she growled. “You told him you wouldn’t stay on much more than a year.”
“Maybe this is partly on me, I never really wanted to work there. But that doesn’t mean I wanted to be fired out of the blue without any notice, either. Why can’t you ever be on my side?”
“Do you know, he said that same exact thing to me?” She shook her head. “When will you knuckleheads realize we’re all on the same side? We’re family, damn it.”
“He’s not my family.”
“And that, right there, is the problem, Jakey. You can’t be accepted if you refuse every advance. Just like the good Lord says, ask and you shall receive.”
That was the problem, Jake thought. Tedwantedhim to ask. He wanted to put him in that exact position, so he could lord it over him. “He hated me from the start.”
“Youhated him.”
The reality was that he’d hatedallmen at that point in his life. For good reason. He had frequently seen his dad pummel his mother’s face like Rocky Balboa on Ivan Drago.
“I was achild, who’d just gone through some pretty traumatic stuff, and he was agrown man.”
He almost rolled his eyes when he saw his mother tear up. He knew this was hard for her to hear, but she needed to hear it.
“Ted has been a good husband to me, and he took us both in when we needed help,” she cried. “I always tried to do what was right by you.”
“Mom, that was almost thirty years ago. And you talk about it like you were a stray dog he decided to pick up off the street. That’s not how a relationship is supposed to work. A marriage should be about love and partnership, not about one person feeling beholden to the other.” He couldn’t keep it in any longer, though he knew how much his words might hurt her. He had tried to see things from her perspective, but he just wasn’t sympathetic anymore. “I love you, mom, but I want nothing to do with Ted.”
“Jake, come on!” Elaine shook her head. “You can’t choose your family.”
“Actually mom, you can. And I feel like I’m at a stage in my life where, for the sake of my own well-being, I need to make that choice.”
She blew her nose with a tissue from her purse.
“Look, you can tell me that I was closed off and unreachable, and maybe I was, but he is unreachable even to his own kids. Julia works day and night and gets no recognition. Josh is his errand boy, going nowhere.” He was sick of feeling inadequate. “You will always be welcome in my home, wherever that may be. But I wasneverwelcome in Ted’s house. I was always a guest there, and that will never change.”
“That’s not true.”
“Mom, I ring thedoorbellwhen I come over.”
She shook her head. “He opened his home–”
Jake cut her off. “I don’t want to hear that one more time. You can keep believing it if it makes you feel better, but please keep it to yourself. Now, if there’s nothing else, I have a lot of paperwork to do.”
She hesitated. “Why can’t you just ask for your job back?”
He leaned over and kissed her on the cheek. “I’ll see you at church.”
Another tear slipped down her cheek, but she nodded.
She turned away and went back to her car without making eye contact. But he kept his eyes on her. She might not want to see the truth, but he could only hope that the walls were cracking, and the light would start shining through.
