AllFreeNovel
Share Us
His teammate’s face softened. “I get that. Are you chatting with them? Can they visit?”
“No, he’s—they can’t. And, I dunno. I feel like they don’t wanna talk to me anymore,” Zane admitted.
“Call them and ask them point-blank to talk more. The worst thing that can happen is that they say no.”
That had seemed like a terrible idea to Zane.
He’d done it anyway.
“Hey,” Zane blurted the next time he managed to get Zammy on the phone. “Do you not wanna, like…talk anymore?” His lungs were aching with the urge to plead.
There was a pause. “Doyounot want to talk anymore?”
“I asked you first,” Zane retorted.
“Okay, but, why are you asking if that’s not what you want?”
“Because you never call me? Or text me, or send me pics, oranything. If you wanna make your own life in New York and want me to stop bothering you—”
“No. That’s not it at all,” Zammy said, voice strained.
“So, what, then? We have the same job. You can’t bethatmuch busier than me.”
“No. I’m not that busy.”
The confirmation hurt. Zane kept quiet as Zammy continued.
“Don’tyouwanna live your own life, though? You’ve always been so extroverted and confident and stuff, and I’m just…I don’t want you to feel forced to talk to me because you feel like I need it. I wantyouto be happy.”
Zane had to take a moment to process the absolute ridiculousness of that. “What are you even talking about? You’re my best friend? Iwannatalk to you. I fucking miss you, dude, and it sucks that you’re ignoring me.”
“I’m notignoringyou,” Zammy protested. “But I’m sorry. I’ve missed you too. I keep wanting to call you and send you stuff, honestly.”
“Yeah?” Zane’s heart was going to burst, the relief so keen it almost made him sick.
“Yeah.”
“Then do it, asshole.”
Zammy had laughed, and things had gotten so much better. Zane had still missed him, but it wasn’t like missing half of his spirit, the ache and the weight of that.
Still, from the very beginning, Zane had told his agent—if an opportunity to get traded to the Cats arose, he wanted to jump on it. The Denver management didn’t know—it’d give him the worst fucking reputation, spreading rumours of him wanting a trade when he wasn’t even in the NHL yet—but his agent had kept an eye out as promised.
Zane had still been absolutely stunned that it panned out.
He’d gone into that first year as a Cat convinced he’d be able to be normal. He’d be Zammy’s friend, his teammate and D-partner, and everything would be great.
Yeah—not even close.
He’d underestimated how it would make him feel to see Zammy have his own life already set up. The biggest part of him had loved it. He’d been proud of his friend for how settled he was, how happy.
A smaller, darker part had whispered,He’s fine without you. You’ll always need him more than he needs you.
He’d tried to resist the lure of that voice. The impulse to weave himself into the fabric of Zammy’s life. To infiltrate every organ and vessel.
It’d been a wild, terrible, joyful year. Having Zammy so close had proved too much of a temptation. His control had collapsed, and it’d all come rushing out, trampling the friendship they had known.
Zane couldn’t take credit for how things turned out. That was all Zammy. He was the brave one—the one to confess his love. To show Zane that he didn’t have to be afraid of himself and how he felt.
