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Josh gasped theatrically. “I can’t believe you! I thought you were ride-or-die, Leo.”
“I mean, I have my limits.”
“Disappointing,” Josh joked, poking his tongue out at him.
For some strange reason, as Leo laughed, that was the moment he remembered why he was there—paid to get Josh through his heat. That was it. Not to joke around and eat their food and feel like…
“Uhm…I guess I should go now,” Leo said before he could do anything stupid.
“What?” Josh exclaimed. “No, come on, let’s cuddle.”
Leo gritted his teeth, resisting the pull to do what he actually wanted. “It, uhm…I was hired for four days and I, uh, I have a client tonight, so.”
A heavy, loaded silence fell over the table. For the first time in a long time, Leo felt shame crawl through him, sticky, sharp claws raking through him. And it wasn’t because he was being paid for sex work, but because he was being paid for all the moments in between—the kisses, and the hand-fed food, and the easy conversation between them.
Because it brought home that this wasn’t a real relationship they were developing, but a service Leo was providing.
“Oh,” Josh said softly. “Right, yeah. Sorry, of course.”
Leo tried to ignore the unbearable fucking awkwardness as he got up from the table, putting his plate in the sink before gathering his things. It was deadly silent in the apartment, the easy feeling having been split cleanly in two.
“Uhm…okay, well. Uh. I’ll see you soon?” Leo said as Josh and Damon walked him to the door.
The other two nodded silently, Josh leaning into Damon like the couple they were.
Never had Leo had such a strong urge to touch a client after the job was over. Not even a kiss, but just a press of his fingers against their cheeks, a small comfort.
Instead, he curled his hands into fists and left.
***
The next few days were…strange.
There was a hollow, achy feeling in his chest that reminded him of the early days when he’d started moving past helping Omegas with heat and into more varied sex work. The times that he went just a little too deep into kink and then was left lost and alone, feeling like he was missing something. Like there was a part of himself that he just couldn’t quite soothe.
He tried not to think about it, to just put one foot in front of the other and let his routine move him forwards, but even work had gotten a little harder. He slipped up with a client a few days after his session with Damon and Josh, a client he’d had for more than a year.
“What are you thinking about?” Charlie asked, staring at him quizzically. He was always frustratingly alert after coming, giving Leo little respite.
“Nothing, just dozing. You gave it to me good.” Leo smiled, rolling under the sheets to look at Charlie more fully.
Charlie didn’t seem convinced. “Sometimes, I feel like our relationship doesn’t really matter to you.”
Leo faked a concerned sound, masking the irritation he felt. These were the worst types of clients—the ones who convinced themselves that they were owed not just Leo’s body but his love, too. Who wilfully forgot that Leo was getting paid and made a fuss when Leo refused to cross his own boundaries. “You know that’s not it, Lee. I love our sessions.” He said, using his nickname to soften the blow.
Charlie scoffed. “Sessions,” he repeated bitterly, which was exactly the reaction Leo had expected, but reminding Charlie of the limits of their relationship was necessary.
Still, Leo could pretend a little to keep a client, even if he was a pain in the ass. He pouted, shifting closer to Charlie’s naked form. “I thought our time together meant something to you. That you were okay with who I am and what I do. Yeah, there’s money involved, but does it mean that what we have doesn’t matter?”
Charlie’s face softened. “No, of course not. But. Have you ever considered…would you continue doing this if I didn’t pay you?”
And there it was. He’d been asked that question more times than he could count.
“No, I’m sorry, baby,” Leo said softly. “I don’t have the emotional space for a romantic relationship right now—that’s why I do what I do. If this wasn’t a job, it’s not that I wouldn’t want to spend time with you. It’s just that I literally wouldn’t have the time or energy to do so.” Which was the spiel he always gave— It’s not you, it’s me, blah, blah, blah.
Charlie grunted in frustration, going on about how he’d make sure that Leo was taken care of, that he wouldn’t have to work anymore…the usual nonsense rich Alphas told him.
‘I’ll buy you’ is what they really meant, loving the idea of Leo depending only on them.
