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13
-Maddox-
Mymoodwasshit.The coffee maker broke this morning, work dragged, and I couldn’t stop worrying about dumbass Devon. I knew him well enough by now to know he was up to something, and I had no doubt his dad put him up to it. Whatever it was, he better be careful.
Devon was smart enough to know his dad was a risk, but he was also heroic enough to think he could save us all from Jim. He’d do whatever it took to get Jim out of our lives, even if it meant doing something potentially dangerous and reckless to accomplish it. Which was why I found myself wanting to leave work and take a sick day just to make sure Devon was actually at the shop working and not off being shady.
Maddox:How’s work?
He better answer. Could I track his phone? I wished I had some sort of technology knowledge, but I stayed in the dark about all of that. Had never needed to know.
It was afternoon break, so I sat on the tailgate of the work truck, eating a packet of dry crackers with even drier peanut butter between them. I needed to get through two more hours of work before I could go check on him, but my mood got progressively worse as the day went on. I sent a text to my brother asking if Devon was at work, but he barely checked the phone he usually forgot he owned, so I didn’t hold my breath.
“Hey, Madd.” Tom walked up with a shy sort of look on his face.
I watched him without saying anything. I guess the look on my face basically betrayed my question because he started explaining himself.
“I just wanted to tell you what actually happened at the fair.” He leaned against the truck. “I never meant for you to take that drink.”
“What? So you meant to drug someone else?”
“No,” he sighed. “Myself. It was supposed to be mine. I’m kind of… awkward, if you hadn’t noticed.” He blushed like a young fool. “So sometimes I take that shit to get out of my comfort zone. I was mixing drinks, put it in one cup, and I guess I messed up the cups. I’m really sorry.”
My eyes widened. “An honest mistake?”
He nodded. “And I didn’t even realize I’d done it until you were… fucked up. By that point, it was too late to tell you. Everyone was on it, so I just thought maybe you took it on purpose, but… I dunno, I realized you didn’t when you kept asking what was wrong with you. I felt so guilty that I told Jeff to call Devon. I’m sorry.”
Jesus. “What even was it?”
“An MDMA blend. But I think you might have been on something else too, I don’t know. I don’t usually get like that on it, so it made me wonder.”
I did smoke a joint that was offered by one of Heidi’s friends, so maybe. Great, so I was on some ecstasy/coke/weed high or something. I didn’t know shit about drugs other than that I didn’t do them, so it’s not like I could tell what it was. All I knew was that it dropped all my inhibitions and made me horny.
I looked at Tom. He was nervous as shit, and I believed that it was a mistake. Now that I knew he only put something in a drink for a good time, I debated whether it was even all his fault. Leave it to me to get drugged twice in the same night. All by my own stupidity. Thought Devon was supposed to be the dumb one in our relationship.
“I’m really sorry, okay? I honestly didn’t mean to do it.” He looked at the ground.
“It’s fine. It… nothing bad happened. Just be more careful of that shit.”
“I will.”
“Plus, you don’t need drugs. You’re fine how you are.”
He blushed again. “Devon gonna kill me?”
“Probably,” I laughed. “He’ll at least punch you. Might want to steer clear of him for a bit.” Honest truth. I patted the tailgate to invite him to sit down. My crackers tasted like shit, so I gave them to him. Even made a joke about them not being spiked. Too soon, maybe.
“Can I ask you something?” Tom asked.
Ugh, hated when people said that. Never knew what was coming, and I generally sucked at conversations. I nodded.
“How’d you, uh, know you were gay?” He studied the crackers.
Oh, that wasn’t so bad. “I didn’t. Still don’t. No idea what I am. Devon just fucked with my head and made me want him.” I shrugged, not sure how to explain it better than that. “Our tension changed,” I added, hoping that cleared it up.
“And you just went with it? Didn’t freak you out or anything?”
I scoffed. “Oh, it freaked methe fuckout. Not because he was a guy so much, but because he was Devon. We hated each other, or at least, we thought we did. He was enemy number one since we were kids, and I’d never looked at him like that, so it scared me a bit.” I looked at Tom, squinting. Okay, I was the farthest thing from a role model, barely knew my own sexuality, and wasn’t at all qualified to help him determine his, but I asked, “You gay?”
