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I tried not to let my nerves show, hoping that whatever boat was out there waiting for him would be enough to lock him up for breaking parole. Or intent, as officer douchebag said. Either way, at least it was something and it’d get him out of my life. I wouldn’t miss him, cry for him, or regret the decision to help him leave. As he pulled away from the dock, nothing but relief and freedom wove through me.
“Hey, boy!” Dad shouted over the sound of the engine. “You gotta learn who to trust!” The smile on his face was distant, but it churned my stomach. Dread set in.
“Don’t move!”
I turned. Davis had that gun from his hip pointed right at my chest. The sound of my dad’s laughter faded into the wind, the leaves rustling in the trees on shore as I stared down the barrel of a gun. Dread made me cold and sweaty, but shame sank my gut. Of course I’d get double-crossed. Who the hell did I think I was? I was Devon Sawyer, the guy who fucked up everything he looked at, and with that gun glinting before my eyes, I knew this was the biggest mistake of my life.
“Let’s go,” Davis said, nodding at the shore.
My legs almost failed me, shaking so hard they barely stepped forward. Genuine fear consumed me, and I hated to admit that my mind wasn’t working fast enough through the terror to come up with an exit strategy. With his gun aimed at me, I walked past him while shaking. He shoved me from behind and pressed the gun to my spine, steering me down the dock and back to the treeline. Through my fear, a familiar friend greeted me. Rage. Fucking furious and sick of always being the loser in my life, I burned up on the inside but didn’t know how to use it to my advantage. Embarrassment cut through my anger, reminding me that once again, everyone else had been right. Maddox had been right. Nate had been right. I did something stupid. I tried to be the hero when I had no right to the role.
Fuck… Maddox.
Depending on how this played out, I’d never see him again. That hurt the most. I fucked up so badly that I’d break Maddox’s heart. Instead of protecting him, I failed him. Ruined him. He’d suffer more because of me than he ever would have because of my dad. For that, I deserved the bullet in the chamber, but Maddox didn’t deserve the pain and suffering it would cause him. Nate didn’t deserve to hurt.
Everything flashed before my mind’s eye, mocking me for everything I could have had but would never get. I used to think karma was a bitch, and that fate led me down a life path that held no hope. I was wrong. I was karma. I was fate. I set in motion the downward spiral of my own path in life, and once again, I had no one else to blame but myself.
The gravel lot crunched under my feet and the rustle of leaves grew louder. Davis pushed me to the edge of the forest, stopping me where he planned to kill me.
“Why are you helping him?” I found my voice. “What could he possibly offer you as payment?”
“More than you ever could, so don’t even try to negotiate.” He shoved me and I fell to my knees. I got right back up, because if this was where I met death, I’d do it standing and facing him. So, I turned around.
“You supposed to kill me?”
Davis glanced around, but he nodded. It didn’t look like he took any joy in being my executioner, but he also didn’t look morally compromised enough to let me go. He had a job to do, and he’d do it. The unsure look in his eyes was the only thing I could exploit. I had to try.
“You don’t have to do it. I’ll leave. Disappear forever and never come back. Jim will never know.” I’d try anything at this point.
Maddox. My heart stung when I pictured the pain in his eyes. I inhaled through my nose, warding off tears for a tragedy I might still be able to prevent.
“Jim told me you’d say that,” Davis said. “No point in dragging this thing out.” He flicked the safety off.
I didn’t close my eyes, but they blurred with tears. Tears for the life Maddox would live after me. Tears for the hate he’d throw my way and the‘I told you so’rage he’d have to live in. Tears for him waiting at home every night, alone, knowing I’d never show up again. He deserved so much better than me.
“I love you, Madd,” I whispered to the wind.
Maddox was the real hero of our story. I was nothing but the Joker.
I blinked.
17
-Devon-
Thegunwentoff.The forest tilted as I dropped. Pain sparked in my shoulder when I hit the ground, but it wasn't sharp like a bullet. Reality morphed into delusions, and dreams turned into nightmares. Maybe nightmares turned into dreams. I didn't know anymore.
“Devon!”
I blinked. I blinked again. I suffocated under a heavy weight and blinked a third time. Life happened in slow motion—maybe it was death. A blanket of bodyweight crushed me protectively, and on the fourth blink, corporeality assaulted me.
“Stay down, Devon.”
Maddox.
I frantically sat up as he stood in front of me. He came. He was here. He saved me again by pushing me out of the way; the bullet never hit me.
I tried to get up, but Maddox pushed me back down and turned to face Davis. And that’s when the second echo of the gun destroyed my ears and ripped my heart clean out of my chest. His body blocked mine and his scream of agony made my hair stand up. He fell backwards, landing on top of me in a heap of agony, all his weight crushing me. I screamed louder than he did.
