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Okay, first, those grins were for me. Second, fuck him for calling me the girlfriend. “Fuck you, Maddox. You’re the bitch in this relationship.”
“Sexist,” he accused with a laugh, egging me on in hopes of a fight. When I nudged him with my elbow, he grabbed it. And didn’t let go. He actually kind of held me possessively, like he owned me and was making sure Tom knew it. Shit, I liked that. Really liked that.
“Hey, man,” Tom said, holding out his hand. “Nice to meet ya. I thought you two were gonna kill each other.” He laughed nervously, still wondering if we were going to fight.
I shook his hand but didn’t enjoy it. “It’s not off the table yet.”
“Killing each other is our kink,” Maddox said like a smooth bastard. “But making bets is even better. And I’m pretty sure I won today, yeah?” There was that grin just for me.
“Yeah, and I’m ready to knock you down a few pegs, you dumb fuck.” I grabbed his wrist.
Maddox laughed, in a good mood tonight. “See ya, Tom.” He didn’t even spare the guy a glance as he dragged me away. Towards the podium.
“Why you so happy tonight?” I asked with a bit of a bite. Better not have anything to do with Tom.
“Because I beat your ass on the track and now I’m about to get what I want,” he answered. “Plus, I hate it when you get all insecure and shit, but seeing you get your back up like that around Tom? Cock hard.”
I punched him in the shoulder. “Fuck you! I work around lame-ass Nate and Xavi all day, but you’re out there with all these ripped guys! How am I supposed to compete with that?”
Still seething, I didn’t notice his foot. He kicked my legs out, and as soon as my back hit the ground with a thud, his knee pressed to my chest and his hands pinned my wrists to the dirt.
“Compete with that?” he scoffed. “You don’t compete with that.Theycan’t compete with you. It doesn’t fucking matter what they look like because they aren’t you, Devon. Get jealous all you want because I love fucking it out of you. But if you keep second-guessing yourself, I’m gonna kick your ass so bad you’ll have to take a month off work. And trust me, during that month, you’ll learn pretty damn quick how badly I only want you. You, Devon. Just you. So shut the fuck up, yeah?”
Well, fucking fuck! My chest heaved against his knee with an influx offeelings!And none of them were anger, so I didn’t know what to do with them. “How much have you had to drink?” I spit the question at him like he was the dumb one for making me ask it.
“I dunno, like three beers. Why?” He didn’t let me up.
I felt like an idiot, but I looked right into his eyes and damn near pleaded with him. “Let’s go home. I don’t wanna be here anymore. Let’s just go home. Can you drive?”
His knee let up on my chest. “Why?”
“I just wanna be with you. Alone. None of these other people.”
Maddox studied me, making sure I wasn’t lying. “This is just about us spending time together? Nothing else?”
Yeah, something else. I was all weird and emotional or some shit, and I wanted to take it out on him by loving him rather than fighting him. I palmed his cheeks and sighed. “I’ve been fucking up by working too much. You don’t come second to anything, okay? I just want you to myself tonight and tomorrow because come Monday…” I let that trail off. “I love you, alright? I fucking love you, and I hate myself for not showing it lately.”
Maddox wet his lips before leaning down to kiss me lightly. “Get your shit and let’s go.” He got up, pulling me to my feet. “But if you think you’re getting out of that blowie, you’ve got another thing coming.”
I laughed and followed him back to the trailer. When I exhaled, the tension left my body. When Maddox kept hold of my hand the whole way back, I relaxed even more. I wanted him and nothing else. No distractions, brothers, young Toms, or bullshit parties. Just him and me.
4
-Maddox-
Iknewthisidiotwas more sentimental than he liked to let on. I’d been studying him for most of my life, but over the past year, I’d really learned how to read him. His aggression often meant he felt something too strongly. His jealousy was based on insecurity. His loud mouth lost words whenever he tried to be sweet. And his main vulnerability was himself. Devon didn’t think he deserved anything he had in life, which was why he fucked it up so often.
Devon saw himself as someone who would always dream but never get. Now he had the business he’d been wishing for, financial stability, a steady relationship, a safe place for his mom, a safe home for himself, and love. And he didn’t have a damn clue how to handle all that. Everything he’d ever hoped for was within his grasp, but when you spent your entire life in survival mode, yearning for something, it became impossible to stop and appreciate it. He couldn’t appreciate it because he was waiting around for it to be taken away from him. But guess what? He’d be the one to fuck it all up and lose it because he didn’t believe in himself.
Well, fuck that. I’d believe in him enough for the both of us. I’d have no problem calling him out on all his mistakes and reminding him how worth it he was. Yeah, he came from a shit family, had a shit life, and was a shit person in general, but he’d done everything in his power to turn that around and become someone better. Now he needed to take a hot minute to be proud of that. To respect himself for it. Like, how many people could come back from the kind of life he had?
As we walked into our trailer that night, Devon was one of my favourite versions of himself. Shy as fuck and angry about it. I loved it when his cheeks flushed from embarrassment because he didn’t know how to handle feeling sensitive. We’d spent so much of our lives being aggressive and hostile towards each other, and even most of our relationship thrived on tension and overreactions, but when he got deep and emotional, he was cute as hell.
“I… I didn’t mean to take you away from the party, Madd. Fuck, sorry. I should have let you stay and enjoy your win.”Ah, here we go with his unworthiness again.
“Devon.” I cut in, preventing him from saying anything else stupid. “Shut the fuck up.”
“No,” he scoffed, slamming the trailer door behind him. “You just won a race and I didn’t even let you enjoy it!”
