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“Yeah, except we had the Kanes,” I sighed. “This kid doesn’t have anyone.” And just like that, I had some new shoddy purpose in life.
When Xavi brought up the life clock and the hard questions, all the things people expected of him and the timeline he thought he should be on, I felt kind of dumb for never having thought of it before. I spent my time living for the now, but after sorting things out with my crush becoming a reality and my best friend shifting to more of a boyfriend role, those questions came at me in a new way. They no longer felt so daunting. Like, yeah, life was rushing at me all hard and fast, but now I had my Xavi at my side, the secrets were out in the open to become dreams instead of whispered nightmares, and things felt easier. I could look at life rationally and actually picture things.
The scene was almost set. A trailer in Garron Park with Xavi, sexy things, and June bug zappers all around, a new fridge being hauled into the tiny kitchen and days of just filling glasses with ice and water because we could… but more, too. More dreams. More ideas. Like an unlocked front door that a rude, dirty kid could open anytime he needed somewhere to go. Bologna sandwiches left out on the counter for him if he didn’t want to take them from my hand. Whispered chats in bed with Xavi about the boy who reminded me of us growing up and how we could make his life just a tiny bit better.
I wasn’t fit to be a dad, but I sure as shit knew how to be a backup option. Maybe that was all I’d ever amount to. Maybe that was enough.
But when I really envisioned things, I pictured the shop, too. Karen at the front desk, being a goddamn delight to the customers who had started coming in the afternoons instead of the mornings just to deal with her instead of us. Xavi and Karen in the shop kitchen, cutting up cheese and pickles like she’d told him her dad used to do. Us having her back whenever she felt the need to check on her dad if her mom wouldn’t go with her. An idea of a life was forming, and it overwhelmed me in a good way.
I didn’t want to chat about it in front of anyone just in case they thought it was stupid or doubted our ability to do it, so I grabbed Xavi’s wrist without a word and… just pulled him out of the trailer.
“What’s up?” he asked, linking our fingers and being all over me.
I loved it. I gripped his hand tighter, walking to the truck. When we got there, I forgot to let go of his hand and followed him all the way to the driver’s side door.
“Neegs,” Xavi whispered, dropping my hand to cup my cheeks. “Tell me what’s going on in that bright mind of yours.”
Xavi was the only person who’d ever called me bright. I looked right at him, no longer afraid. “When we were growing up, who’d we go to whenever we got in trouble?”
Xavi tilted his head to think. “Not our brothers because we didn’t wanna make shit worse for them. Mostly Andrea, Mary, Kathy. Even Gina when she was able to help. Any neighbour, really. The whole park unless they were buds with Jim. Why?”
“Because… we had doors to knock on, Xav.”
Xavi blinked, and then a slow, sexy, beautiful smile came at me. Without saying anything, he nodded, kissed me, and wrapped his arms around me and didn’t let go. He got it.
We were troubled kids with people to go to, and it felt full circle, like the perfect life goal, to become one of those doors kids could knock on. Not just kids. People. Those who helped us were getting older, and it seemed like the perfect way to pay it forward for all they’d done for us.
* * *
We were breaking laws.Mostly, we looked like perverts. Dressed in black like real spies, Xavi’s knee wobbled as he hoisted me up to peer inside one of the only uncovered windows of that kid’s trailer. Luckily, it was at the back of the trailer, and from where we were, only like two other trailers could see us. Hopefully, they’d keep their mouths shut.
“Is he in there?” Xavi whisper-hissed at me. “What’s that noise?”
The noise was yelling, but not angry yelling. Loud talking because the music was turned up so high the damn windows were rattling. There were bodies everywhere, dancing around, lounging, and… “Looks like an orgy, if I’m being honest, Xav.” But I didn’t see the kid anywhere, so that had to be a decent sign. No one even knew his damn name. Cops just called him the Voreneau boy.
Xavi leaned his back against the trailer and tried to keep me steady. He had better night vision, but his balance was utter shit, so my eyes were the lesser of two evils. I didn’t exactly know what we were looking for, maybe just an insider scoop on why the kid ran around the park all night, but it felt important to get the full picture.
“If that kid is in there during an orgy, I will go full dad mode and dick kickhisdad.”
Oh, I forgot to tell him. “I don’t see him in there. Hold still.”
“I’m fucking trying. You’re all bulk, bud.”
“Thanks.” I wasn’t. Not even close, but I loved it when he pumped my tires. “Okay, it just looks like a rowdy party. Drugs. Booze. People. Music. It checks out.” I squinted through the sheer curtains. “Oh my god,” I whispered.
“What?”
“Oh my god.”
“What?!” Xavi demanded.
Two things. One, there was a saggy pair of tits right in front of the window, and I swear to Gnat that was the longest nipple hair I’d ever seen. I gagged silently, trying to look away. But two… “Xavi—”
Something crashed in the yard, and the next second, we were both in the weeds, Xavi’s bracelets tickling my skin. I fell right on top of him, ass on his chest, and instead of trying to push me away, he pulled me closer and backed us up until we were hidden in shadows against the bottom latticework of the trailer.
“That’s my dad,” Xavi whispered, chest to my back. “Right? Is that my dad?”
Yeah, Seth was stomping across the front yard and banging on the door. “Xav, your mom was in there.”
