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“No,” Maddox snapped.
“You did more than me growing up. It’s my turn now.”
He scoffed. “How the fuck do you figure that? You kept me alive. You think I’d be here if it wasn’t for you?”
True, but Maddox did more to help out financially. I didn’t have the motocross skills he had, or any real skills for that matter, so all his winnings had gone to either Dad or the trailer to keep the water hot and the lights on. Sure, I’d contributed a bit, but I fucked off a lot with Nate, too. My biggest failure in life? Not fully protecting Maddox from the responsibilities of our upbringing. I knew it wasn’t possible, but I could have tried harder.
Maddox and Devon had finally gotten out of Garron Park. They broke free from Jim, our parents, and the responsibility of caring for Devon’s mom. It was their time to be happy, and since I didn’t have any big dreams or goals of my own, I figured it was my time to step up and give my brother the space and the freedom to be happy. It was my turn to shield him from the rest of it.
But as we sat on the front porch, I looked around the park and… missed it a bit. The community aspect. We were so isolated at the shop, and I kind of missed having people to rely on.
A random kid who looked just as dirty as we used to ran through someone’s yard and yanked a blanket off the clothesline as he went by. He was ballsy enough not to even look over his shoulder to see if he’d been caught. Reminded me of Nate. Or Devon.
“Let’s get out of here,” Maddox said. “I don’t wanna be around her.”
“You go. I’ll keep an eye on her.”
“Xavi, come on. All she’s gonna do is sleep and then get pissed at us for chasing off her friends. Not worth hanging around for.” He stood.
“What if something happens to her?”
He breathed in through his nose, and on the exhale, he said, “Probably be better for all of us.”
“Maddox. Jesus. She’s an addict. Not a demon.”
“Just because I said it doesn’t mean Iwantsomething to happen, but I can’t helpthinkingit.”
To be honest, I’d had the same thought for years. Mom was a selfish person, or the alcoholism made her selfish, but either way, she didn’t give a fuck how her life impacted ours. She never had. Never enough to change anything. I understood alcoholism and addiction were diseases, and I knew who she was, but Maddox was right. It was hard not to think it sometimes. Still loved her, but why were we looking after her our whole lives? No wonder I was still on themaybefence about having a kid.
I stood up, ready to leave with him. She was our mom, yeah, but she wasn’t our responsibility all the time. She was in bed, safe enough, and there wasn’t much else we could do for her except get mad at the situation, so it was time to go. Maddox walked across the lawn and around to the driver’s side of the truck. Just as we were about to get in, a taxi pulled up.
“Dad?”
Dad got out of the back seat and promised the driver he’d be right back with the money. He disappeared inside for a second, paid the guy, and then looked at us. But not as hard as we looked at him. He looked dusty and tired, but he wasn’t sketchy. His pupils were normal, and he didn’t have any tremors or shakes.
“She alive?” was the first thing he asked.
“In bed. Sick. Sleeping it off.” I stood beside my silent brother and waited for an explanation from Dad. He didn’t owe us one, but once again, we took care of his wife while he was off… somewhere. And we made our own assumptions about where he was.
“She fucking ditched me!” he snapped, losing his temper on the lawn instead of on us. So, that was a good sign he wasn’t drunk or high. “Told me to drive her to Redding because she wanted to get a burger at that place by the park, you know the one?” We both nodded. “Talked it up like some date night, then while I was out ordering, she stole the fucking car and left me there.”
No wonder he was dusty. If he had to hoof it back to Garron, it was a long stretch of dirt roads and no cell reception. No taxis would go out there either, so he probably had to wait until he got to town to borrow a phone and call for a ride back to the park.
“Took my fucking phone and wallet, too, so I couldn’t even pay for the food or a ride.”
Maddox radiated something beside me, but I figured it was aimed at our mom and not Dad. “Why the fuck are you with her?”
Dad stopped his pacing andlookedat the two of us. That was his answer. Because we took care of her most of our lives, and now he was with her to take the burden off us. He knew he was a shitty dad and didn’t think it was too late to make up for it. I respected him for wanting to, but his sobriety was important, too. He might have loved her, but it seemed like most of that love was in the past or only focused on the sober version of her, and he stayed with her out of some obligation or duty.
“She’s going to make you relapse if you haven’t already,” Maddox said. “Don’t let her have that power over you.”
Dad clenched his teeth. “I’m stronger than that now.” He pulled out his sobriety chip. “No one will take that from me but myself.” The conviction in his voice made me believe it.
“You don’t owe her anything,” I told him.
“Maybe not, but I owe you two everything,” Dad said. “Get out of here. I’ll deal with her. I still love her.”
“Come with us,” Maddox said. “Come for a swim at our place or something.”
