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“I wanna do more than justdo lifetogether.” My feelings caught up with the endorphins and made me sentimental and brave about it. “I wannalivelife together. I want that kid to knock on our door. I want to go places with you. I wanna sleep in the same bed and learn what it means to wake up together to face the day with you. Not just with you, but like… with us. With this new thing we are.”
I didn’t know what I was trying to say, but the way I felt for him just changed again. It was the sex, but it was also the complete trust and understanding that came from doing something so new and not being the least bit afraid of it. It told me we could face everything together, and I wanted to do just that. Face life and fucking win at it. Even if our goals were just to hear a ‘knock’on the door, I wanted to conquer it with him and be proud of it together.
“What are we, Nate?” he asked, fingers skimming over my short hair. He smiled, waiting for me to name it.
“We’re…”
“Everything.” He kissed me. “We’re everything, Nate. Everything that was missing and everything we’ve been looking for. We found it.”
Oh my god. Yeah.That. Exactly that.
CHAPTER24
XAVI
After round two,because that plug—which was way more expensive than I thought it would be, but I’d already committed and sold my soul for it—tempted the two of us into more fucking around, I waited for Nate to get ready. Yeah, the plug was a win. Toys got checked and circled on the list, and even though we couldn’t afford another one, that one would geta lotof use.
“You ready to go, bes-by?” Nate asked, fumbling over his words and blushing about it.
I smirked at him. “Did you just jumble bestie and baby?” Fuck, I loved him. Guy sucked at nicknames, but it filled my chest with comfort to watch him try. To know he was secure enough to attempt a pet name, even though he fucked it up, was progress. He was the one to initiate the ‘baby’ name after our first fuck, but he’d bit his tongue ever since. It meant things were coming around. Our bond really was morphing into a relationship instead of only a friendship.
“Yes.” He glared at me, embarrassed and mad because of it. “Don’t make a thing of it.”
“Oh, I’m gonna make a thing of it.” I laughed, pulling him to stand between my legs. With my ass on the back of the new-but-old couch Gina had donated to us, I pushed the brim of his hat up and met those beautiful blue eyes. “I’m ready, besby. Are you? Big night for making deals with angry kids.”
“What if he doesn’t show up?” Nate asked, playing with my hair.
“He will. Because you called his dad an asshole, and he finally has someone to relate to.” And I loved that he wanted to become that kid’s backup plan. If the night went well, I knew Nate would be listening for the‘knock knock’on the door every day and night until that kid felt safe enough to come to us. Nate would make it happen because he was fucking awesome at being a protector.
“And if he doesn’t, Madd and Dev will kick my ass for making them kick each other’s asses.”
I snorted. “You think they don’t love that you gave them an excuse to fight? Please. They’ve been itching for this. Probably be good for them, as usual.” God, I was still riled from that fuck earlier. I enjoyed taking charge, and I craved a role reversal to take charge from the bottom next. “We did it, Neegs. We got here.”
Nate looked around the trailer. It didn’t have a ton of furniture yet, and our deep clean wasn’t finished, but fuck it. This place was ours. We had a space of our own that didn’t contain a narrow hallway or a storage room. Sure, it was a double-wide trailer, but our standards were met because it was an actual home of our own. Our fresh start as a couple. Privacy, a yard, a path to the beach, a bedroom of our own with actual bed frames.
“Missing a few things,” he said, smiling. “We’re getting that fridge.”
“We can’t afford it.” I laughed, even though it sucked.One day! One day I’ll get my water dispensing fridge.
“I have an idea for that,” Nate said, bending to press his lips to mine. “I’ll tell you tomorrow. Tonight, let’s prove to a homophobic kid that he’s not actually homophobic.” With a quick peck that I chased, Nate spun, determined to teach a filthy boy a lesson. Maybe he’d enjoy the outdoor shower, too? I smacked his ass and whooped, ready to take on the challenge.
* * *
It’d beena minute since I’d last attended Garron Park Fight Night, but god, I missed this shit. Everyone was drunk or happy, or a combination of both. Tension was low because people were blowing off steam, and the general vibe of the night was trashy and fun. My kind of vibe.
Devon and Maddox were in swim shorts, already amped up to beat the shit out of each other, and Nate was shit-talking both of them to rile them further. While he did that, I scanned the crowd for a set of beady, judgy little eyes that thought gays were pansies. I huffed at that. Since I was a gay now, I took offence, and a part of me wanted to give my brother a better pep talk so he knew not to let us down.
I was president of this new gay club.A dab just won’t do anymore.
Over the heads and through the swaying bodies, I caught sight of a tiny blondie hiding behind an old truck. Nate was busy, so I took it upon myself to walk over to him. I leaned against the side of the truck and didn’t look at him. He hid, but he didn’t run, so that was a start.
“See those two?” I nodded at Devon and Maddox. “They’re up next. Both gay.” Technically, I thought Maddox was bi, but for the sake of this lesson, they could both be gay. They were gay for each other, so it wasn’t a lie.
Someone pumped music from a crackling speaker, but I still heard him. He asked me how I knew they were gay, but I pretended not to hear him. He stepped closer, revealing himself. “How do you know?”
“How do you not?” I scoffed.
“They don’t look gay.”
