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ChapterTwelve
Sinead
I’m wiped. I enter the bedroom, and it’s beautiful. The bed is more inviting than any I’ve seen in a posh hotel. I kick off my shoes before sitting on the end. My eyes are closed as I wait for Gabriele. If I lie down, I’ll be asleep before he comes in. I actually really want to take a shower, even though I’m so tired. I don’t know why, but I feel like I shouldn’t get between the sheets unless I’m clean. Even with pajamas, I feel like I’d enjoy it way more if I didn’t have any sweat or anything on me.
“Sinead.”
I open my eyes to see Gabriele standing in the doorway. My brow furrows. This isn’t the sweet man in the club office after he got me off or the one who let me sleep against him in the car.
“What’s wrong?”
“Why don’t you tell me?”
I shake my head slightly as it falls forward. He’s holding out his phone, so I stand up. He won’t come in the room. I take it from him, and it’s like the entire world crashes down around me.
Mafia Attorney Snorting Her Retainer
There’s a photo on a news website with a photo of a woman who looks just like me, leaning over and doing a line of coke. It’s a profile shot. I know exactly where it came from, too. I shift my focus to Gabriele, but he’s blurry as tears fill my eyes. All I can do is shake my head since I can’t dislodge the lump in my throat.
“Sinead, what the fuck?”
I swallow and swallow, but I still can’t speak.
“Answer me. This is not one of those times where you’re going to enjoy the outcome.”
I keep looking at his phone as I skim the article below it.
The Mancinelli crime family hired defense attorney, Sinead O’Malley, to represent the latest felon on trial. Gabriele Scotto stands accused of detonating explosives and extorting local gangs. Ms. O’Malley graduated from Yale Law school six years ago. Rather than pay her student loans, she’s seen here inhaling at least one gram of what the drug community calls an eight-ball worth at least two thousand dollars, which Mr. Scotto provided his lawyer. Ms. O’Malley has a history of drunken and disorderly conduct from her youth in Rhode Island. Her drug use and memberships to a well-known BDSM club in Manhattan are going before an ethics review board in the morning. She is facing disbarment. The Mancinellis will be searching for a new defense attorney. Perhaps the person they find can represent Ms. O’Malley as well.
Tears stream down my face. I fumble for my phone and go into my cloud to a photo folder I have but prayed never to look at again. I can’t hold back my sob as I tap on one of the files.
“Sinead, answer my fucking questions.”
I don’t even know what he’s saying. I didn’t hear any questions. My ears are ringing as I step back and forget I’m not as close to the bed as I thought I was. I lurch backwards and would have fallen hard if Gabriele’s reactions weren’t so fast. It’s like slow motion as he drops my work bag, overnight bag, and garment bag. He catches my arms, but I sag. I can’t anymore. I go limp, and he lowers me to the ground. My nose is running, and I can’t catch my breath as I sob. All I can do is hand Gabriele my phone.
“What is this, Sinead?”
I stare blankly ahead of me. I know what he’s looking at as though someone painted it inside my eyeballs. I let myself fall sideways and curl into a ball.
“I’m the one who’s supposed to be dead.”
I don’t know if he hears me. I don’t even know if I say it out loud. I close my eyes and try to breathe. It’s so fucking hard, and I feel lightheaded. I’m right back there again. It’s all happening in my mind as though I’m in that car.
“Piccolina?”
“Hmmm.”
Did I just hum? I’m certain that’s Gabriele’s voice and his hands now picking me up. I’m floating, or at least it feels that way. He must be carrying me. This really is the softest bed I’ve ever felt. The mattress dips as he climbs onto it. He must be even heavier than he looks. He pulls me against him and strokes my hair.
“Piccolina, breathe. I don’t understand what you showed me, but you’re freaking me out. If you don’t say something, I’m calling a doctor. We have two in the family.”
I wish I could. But I can’t. I know I’m breathing because I’m alive enough to hear Gabriele. But this blindsided me, and none of the things I’ve learned to handle this trauma response are going to work. I’m too far gone already.
I hear Gabriele speaking again, but it’s not to me. I don’t know who it is. I catch snippet.
“Maria…Auntie Paola’s… Need you now… If you don’t… ambulance… Shaking… pale… pulse…”
