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“I am, and I will. Was your conversation with Carmine helpful? I get I can’t ask what you guys talked about, but was it at least useful?”
“Sort of. He’s still doing some digging.”
She nods and sighs.
“You’re supposed to be on your way to the gym right now.”
“I think I can miss a day.”
“You haven’t slept. I forced you to come here. And now you’re missing part of your routine with your family. You should go.”
“Sinead, no. Even if I wanted to— which I definitely don’t —I wouldn’t. Maria and Auntie Carlotta have their guards, and I know someone in my family must have arranged for some here. But you don’t have nearly enough protection for me to leave. If they decide to keep you past midmorning, then I’ll arrange for more men. Until then, I’m staying as your guard.”
“You don’t have to babysit me.”
“No one is babysitting you, Sinead. Babysitting implies you can’t be trusted to be alone or can’t do shit for yourself. Nothing about tonight made me think you’re a little. Even if you were, you would have bodyguards, not babysitters. The men assigned are there to protect you from outside threats, not to make sure you don’t drink bleach from under the kitchen sink or choke on a hot dog.”
She just stares at me for a moment before nodding. I didn’t mean to get heated, but the way she said it made me think she doesn’t believe she’s worth the effort for anyone to watch out for her. It wasn’t that she thought I was making a mountain out of a molehill. It was more about her self-worth in this situation, and I don’t like it. It’s all too new to her, and I don’t want to explain it. I sure as shit hope nothing proves she needs protecting.
“I’m definitely not a little, Gabriele.”
“Gabe. I don’t think you remember me telling you that in the office.”
“I thought that was just for after…”
“Whenever you want.”
I walk around to the chair that I sat in earlier, but she reaches out her hand.
“Please?”
I climb back onto the bed and wrap myself around her. She’s asleep within minutes. I feel her relax. I tell myself to do the same, but it takes at least half an hour before I can. Then I only get forty minutes before a nurse comes in to check her vitals. I’m off the bed and in the chair the moment I hear someone touch the door handle. I am not a deep sleeper. I stay in the chair after that and doze.
* * *
“Gabe?”
“Good morning,piccolina.”
“What time is it?”
“Seven-o-five.”
“Shit. Can I have my phone? I need to call my boss and the court clerk. I’m supposed to meet my client there before it opens at nine. We’re first on the judge’s docket for today. Shit, shit, shit, shit.”
She scrambles to sit up as I hand her the phone. She’s looking at the wall clock now, and I can tell she’s getting anxious. She’s waiting while the phone rings.
“Marta, it’s Sinead. I know it’s early, but I can’t make it in today… Delaney’s— she —it came up. I had one of my panic attacks…Yeah, way worse, though… Remember when they first brought me into the courtroom in cuffs?… That times about twenty. I’m in the hospital.”
There are pauses when she listens to Marta. Her boss sounds like she was the lawyer who represented Sinead all those years ago. At least, she has someone who understands that she’s not playing sick.
“They’re supposed to release me midmorning… Tomorrow off too would be great. I need a continuation since the Cohenour case was supposed to start.” She glances at me. “I still feel like shit, Marta. I should be good in two days, but you need to know something was printed about me. They used that photo that looks like me to claim I’m a drug addict and that Mr. Scotto is my dealer… It also mentions something about my sex life and says I’m going before an ethics review.”
She listens again, and she’s looking at me every few minutes.
“I don’t know that we have any choice but to resign from Mr. Scotto’s case. Between this press and filing a defamation or libel complaint, it’s going to compromise Mr. Scotto’s defense. A retraction won’t be enough to prove to some people I’m innocent. What if one of those people winds up on the jury?”
She goes quiet again as she watches me. I understand her reasoning, but I am not pleased. Despite my attraction to her, I believe she would be my best defense. I point to her, then hold up two fingers, then point to the chair.
